Spliced: Part 4 - Chapter 15 (End of Part 4)

[flighty_dreams]

TITLE: Spliced 4.15 (End of Part 4)
AUTHOR: flighty_dreams
WARNINGS: NC-17. slavefic. scifi setting. M/m. some graphic violence.
WORD COUNT:  4,379 (this chapter)
SUMMARY:  In a world where clones are made and sold as commodities, Matt Muldane can't resist purchasing an intriguing slave.
NOTES:  The index to this story available here. Thanks to aurila and tuawahine !
FEEDBACK: Always welcome, even if it's just to say that you read it.

 

Chapter Fifteen

 

Seated at the kitchen table, Alex nursed his third beer.

He shouldn’t be dwelling on the past, but Matt’s questions had stirred it up. Again. He’d been mostly okay the past couple of days, until a little while ago. Once he’d tamped down the queasiness, the only thing he’d wanted to do was drown himself in alcohol. Nausea he could subdue; self-loathing was another matter.

For years he’d fought a losing battle with his guilt. Joining law enforcement would have drawn too much scrutiny, but he’d thought capturing bounties would help him atone. If he caught other murderers, prevented them from killing more people, he thought it would alleviate his own regrets. On the contrary, the thrill of the chase had sometimes come close to that feeling of power he’d had when he’d stood over his broken tormentor. No, chasing them hadn’t been a punishment, but going back to slavery… that had been his way of punishing himself. If the authorities knew about him he’d have been killed, and he wanted to live, but returning to slavery was in many ways a worse punishment than death.

For all that it had seemed the perfect punishment though, it had eased other dark urges more than his guilt. Acceptance of the truth was only coming gradually: nothing would take the guilt away, he simply had to live with it. His siblings were all wiser than he, turning their back on slavery forever, despite whatever guilt or lingering Andorian urges they felt. But they hadn’t relished the sadistic power in their sins either.

Guilt for those left behind—some of his family and all the slaves still out there—had always been bad enough, but coupled with remorse for what he’d done and the loss of Arri, it had been too much to bear at once. After months of trying to cope with everything, slavery had seemed like the only answer left. But it hadn’t felt right either; guilt over how disappointed Arri would be in him, and his own needs, had driven him back to freedom every time.

It was the evening of Ninthday, the last day of the weekend on Monlea. Tomorrow Matt would go back to work. Tara was out with friends, and Sadie had gone off to services, no doubt congregating with other narrow-minded shrews.

At least she was out of the house. Distracted by a vid call, Matt had disappeared into the den almost an hour ago. The observation that Matt no longer felt comfortable taking private calls in front of him was a backhanded compliment. Before, his thoughts hadn’t counted.

Meanwhile, Alex had taken advantage of the women’s absence. A quick survey of the refrigerator had revealed the fresh pack of beer. Matt wasn’t much of a beer drinker—too snobby for that, Alex noted in amusement—but Sadie kept some stocked for guests. If she followed the same routine she usually did, she wouldn’t be back for hours yet. He took another swig, glad Matt insisted on buying the good Pyrunian beer.

Pyrun. He shuddered. After their escape, he’d avoided the whole planet, the memories too painful. It was only after he started working on Kate’s ship that he’d gone back. Kristech had been in Regaer; while he was comfortable enough now to go back to Pyrun, that entire country he’d managed to avoid.

Stroking the neck of the bottle, he wished Matt hadn’t gone into the den for his call. The stronger stuff was kept in there. Three beers barely had him buzzed. It would take nearly comatose drunkenness to brush away the memory of Kristeer’s mangled body.

“Min?” Matt’s voice came from the house’s internal comms, interrupting his brooding.

Alex sighed. Matt must’ve gone back to the bedroom and found it empty. Moving his chair closer to the panel on the wall, he pressed the ‘Talk’ button rather than the ‘Vid’ one. “I’m still here.” At least Matt couldn’t see his eye roll. “The kitchen.”

Staring out the window, he didn’t turn when he heard Matt reach the doorway. It was a sunny day, and he watched birds flutter amongst the trees outside.

“You okay?” The gruff question intrigued Alex enough to glance at Matt’s face. Concern accompanied the hand placed on his shoulder.

He shrugged, uncertain what to say. Telling him he was fine would’ve been a lie.

“You’re drinking alone in the middle of the afternoon.” Matt tugged the bottle out of his grasp. “And your face looks as white as it did at dinner the first night.”

Unwilling to explain, Alex remained silent. After Matt comforted him the other night, their talk had eventually dissolved into more pleasant activities. They’d spent most of yesterday ‘discussing’ Hayeston, but things seemed calmer today—at least so far.

“Nothing a little alcohol won’t cure,” Alex said, his voice glib. He reached out to grab the beer back, but Matt lifted it out of range.

“Min, talk to me.”

It was moments like these that frustrated Alex the most. Matt expected so much from him, and yet he wouldn’t do little things, like use the name Alex preferred, even when they were alone. Minril was the name of a slave and a monster; he wanted desperately to be someone else.

Oh, he knew it was stupid. Sharra had killed that day, so had Fen, and they still were comfortable with those names. They’d accepted them as part of themselves. But he couldn’t because tangled up in his hatred for Kristeer there had also once been love, and a desperate need for his approval. Bastard that he was, Kristeer had still been the closest thing they had to a father, even often calling them his ‘children.’ To kill on orders or in self defense was one thing; patricide was something else altogether.

Alex wished he’d given Matt some other name when he asked for it that first day. Anything else would’ve been better. But no, he’d stuck with Min because it was part of the punishment, a reminder why he was there. At least Matt’s extensive use of it seemed to be gradually diminishing its effect, but his stubborn insistence still grated.

Sighing, Matt pulled out the chair next to his, finally realizing he wasn’t going to talk. He still kept the beer though, taking a sip of it himself. Alex looked longingly at the bottle, and after a moment of hesitation, Matt slid it over.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in thought as they shared the drink. Pausing with the bottle midway to his mouth, Matt put it back down on the table. “Sadie and Tara. You told them that pack of lies because of Hayeston.”

Alex nodded, glad for an opportunity to explain this. “The cover story was necessary in case anyone snooped around, asking them about us. And because I don’t trust Sadie with the truth.”

Matt looked about to protest, so Alex overrode him. “You thought I was a child, she thinks I’m an animal.”

Matt didn’t deny the observation. Instead he changed the subject. “The disguise when you arrived was another precaution, this time for my employees.” Matt frowned. “And I’m supposed to give my staff the same story you gave Sadie and Tara.”

“Or I could not go to work with you,” Alex pointed out, hopeful. If Matt insisted on bringing him everywhere with him, he would eventually strangle the man.

Matt’s scathing look nixed that idea. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Not being degraded all day? Um, hell yes?”

Jaw clenching, Matt said, “Suddenly you have a problem with everything.”

A bitter chuckle slipped out, and he kept sharper words at bay. “It’s not sudden.”

“What you tolerated before you can tolerate again,” Matt insisted.

Alex looked away, not so sure. But he’d already accepted this as part of his plan. He couldn’t back down now.

“As long as you aren’t dragging me everywhere.”

Matt’s brows raised. “And leave you here, unprotected?”

At least Matt was no longer suspecting him of leaving as soon as his back was turned, but the presumption that he needed Matt’s protection, even after what he’d revealed, was unacceptable.

“As you are well aware now, I am not helpless,” Alex snarled.

“Physically no, but legally?”

Alex flushed, hating that Matt was right, but hating the collar around his neck even more. On Monlea, it was Slave Affairs that would come for him if he was reported as a problem. Might as well call them Animal Affairs, the way they treated clones.

“If it’s the authorities, no, I can’t do much, but if it’s Hayeston himself coming after me, I can do plenty.”

Vulnerability flickered in Matt’s face for a moment. “If something happens to you while I’m not around…”

Alex put his hand over Matt’s. “It won’t. Slave Affairs or the police aren’t going to haul me away without talking to you first. Even if they have a warrant they’re required to notify you.”

That seemed to calm Matt. “And if they don’t, my attorney will give them hell.”

“Exactly.” Alex smiled, picturing Hollis blistering their ears with talk of civil rights. The bitterness that welled up at the hypocrisy of including slave ownership among civil rights he quickly tamped down.

Running was always an option for him too, but best not to remind Matt of that.

“Hayeston and whoever might be working for him could still ambush or overpower you,” Matt pointed out.

Sobering, he squeezed the man’s hand. “Matt, you can’t take me with you everywhere you go.”

A scowl twisted Matt’s mouth, and his hand slid upwards, clasping Alex’s wrist. “You’re up to something, and you want time on your own to plan it.”

Alex almost laughed at his stark paranoia. “I am up to something: Hayeston. I don’t have any other conspiracies going on.” Except getting you to accept me as I am. “My plate is full enough as it is, thanks.”

“Yes, it is.” Mollified, the frown on Matt’s face shifted from angry to worried. He turned Alex’s hand over, his thumb absently stroking the palm. The comfortable silence returned, Matt’s thumb moving in idle circles that made his skin tingle. Mouth twitching, Alex wondered if he’d ever get his hand back.

Yes, there was a risk that Hayeston might come for him when he was alone and bring plenty of help. Despite his bravado, he knew there were limits to how much resistance he could put up against attackers. But while he was prepared to be cautious, he wouldn’t let fear of Hayeston rule his life either.

“Not going to talk anymore?”

The words jerked Alex out of his thoughts. “Just distracted.”

Matt had that familiar look on his face now, the one that said he wished he could jab some device into Alex’s brain to broadcast his thoughts to him.

Alex bit back a smile. The man was so transparent sometimes. Or most of the time. Curling his free hand around the lower part of the bottle, he drank the last of the beer. Then he slid the beer back to Matt, who scowled when he picked it up to take a drink and realized it was empty.

Sighing, Matt rose, tossing the bottle into the trashvac and opening the refrigerator. He straightened before retrieving anything though, looking at Alex over his shoulder. “That was your third beer?”

“Yeah. So?”

Still empty-handed, Matt closed the fridge. “I think that’s enough.”

Alex couldn’t repress his annoyance at Matt’s high-handedness. “I’m not drunk.”

“No, but you’re trying to crawl into a bottle. Talk to me instead.”

Glaring at the infuriating man, Alex said, “I’m tired of talking.” When Matt just looked at him, he added, “There are some things that no amount of talking will help.”

Matt leaned against the kitchen counter, frowning. “You could at least try.”

He had tried, with other people. He’d told Ten shortly after rescuing him, during the dark days that followed their escape. And Sharra he’d discussed it with several times over the years, but her utter practicality made it difficult for her to understand why he was so hung up on killing Kristeer. In her mind he’d done what was necessary, and assisted all of them. Not that she always thought the ends justified the means, but she felt an exception for Kristeer was completely acceptable. Alex couldn’t really argue with her there. Yet he also couldn’t shake the memory of the rush he’d felt while torturing the man.

No, talking about it didn’t help. Nothing would. Alex made an effort to push the dark thoughts aside. “Distract me instead.”

They stared at each other for a minute, before Matt reluctantly gave in. “Fine, here’s what we’re going to do about Hayeston.”

Ass. He’d gone from one difficult topic to another, and was being bossy again.

“I’m going to have a new security system put into the house and at work,” Matt told him.

Was this what having a conniption felt like? “I already told you why that’s a bad idea!”

“You’re wrong,” Matt said, folding his arms against his chest.

“Care to explain why?” Alex gritted out, bracing for another rant from Matt—that he would inevitably ignore—about how Alex belonged to him and Matt would decide what was to be done about Hayeston. 

Matt surprised him instead. “I was thinking about it earlier and I realized that going by your cover story, if you really were stolen away before, it would make perfect sense for me to step up security around here. In fact, it would look weird if I didn’t.”

Alex flushed, appalled he’d missed that. Too worried about Matt doing something indiscreet, he'd not factored in the consequences of the pretense.

Matt looked at him with raised brows, waiting for a response.

It galled him to admit the man was right. Alex settled for muttering, “I overlooked that.”

The smug smile made Alex long to slap him. “I’ll call the security company tomorrow.”

Alex scowled and said nothing. Rational Matt was a formidable opponent. Good thing he only appeared about as often as an eclipse on Monlea. Well, to be fair, Matt had usually been a calm person, before a certain meeting on Festun.

“Until they’re installed, you’re sticking with me.”

Sighing, Alex said, “This Min pretense is bad enough some of the time. If it’s all of the time, I think I’ll go insane.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “You’ve barely done it at all so far, and you’re already complaining about doing it too much?”

Put like that it did sound a little ridiculous, but it didn’t change how he felt. As Alex started to protest, Matt said, “After it’s in place, we’ll see.”

No security system would be completely safe, but Alex had no intention of following Matt around for each hour of his day, slowly cracking under the strain of playing the polite, helpless slave. Matt seemed to be making some progress overall; given some time, Alex was fairly confident he could make him see sense on this.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” he told Matt now. Allowing for the possibility of change afterwards was a concession of sorts from the Kartan. “I just don’t want us to get too annoyed with each other. When I was here before we still spent a good deal of time apart.” So much that he’d often been bored, but too much togetherness probably would’ve driven him to leave sooner.

“We’ve been together almost the whole time since you got back,” Matt reminded him.

 “Yeah,” Alex drawled, “and look how smoothly that’s gone.”

Face reddening, Matt opened his mouth to argue, but the doorbell rang, interrupting their conversation.

“Expecting anyone?” Alex braced himself for dropping into character.

“Yeah, Hollis called a while ago. Said he wanted to come by and talk about something,” Matt said, moving towards the door.

Alarm filled Alex. When Matt had called Hollis yesterday to tell him about Hayeston, Hollis hadn’t revealed any of his prior knowledge to Matt. He likely intended to remedy that situation now in person; he’d never been comfortable keeping those secrets from Matt.

Damn your timing, Hollis. He admired his loyalty, but not now. Not when he hadn’t gotten a chance yet to tell Matt himself about the promise he’d made Hollis keep.

Alex trailed after him as Matt went to the door, opening it to reveal the Monlean. Hollis’ eyes flickered between the two of them. As Matt greeted him Alex made a slashing gesture with his hand, a last ditch effort to stop Hollis.

It had the opposite effect, Hollis’ mouth firming. “Hi, Min.”

His cold greeting made Matt turn, and Alex hastily lowered his arm.

Hollis was too loyal to be dissuaded, and considering the difficult position Alex had put him into, the least he could do was let Hollis tell Matt however he wanted. Quietly, Alex asked, “Did you want to speak with Muldane in private?”

“Yes,” he said, and Matt looked back and forth between the two of them, as if trying to decide who was acting weirder.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Alex said, heading back to the kitchen.

Matt reached out to stop him, but he’d moved too quickly. “There better not be any more beer missing later!”

Alex flipped him off just before slipping out of sight.

 

 

The yelling started right on time.

Alex had kept an eye on the clock as he drank away another beer—Matt would be pissed at him anyway, so why not? He’d overheard Hollis suggest they talk in the living room—far enough away to be private, but close enough for Alex to hear if they got loud enough. If they’d gone to Matt’s room or the den, it might have taken glass shattering volume for him to hear them.

Hollis is no fool, Alex thought, tapping the neck of the bottle. If it went badly, he knew Alex would try to intervene, especially since he was the one responsible for the situation in the first place.

During their talk the other day, he’d asked Hollis about the wanted listing. Thankfully, he had succeeded in convincing Matt to keep it open. For all their sakes, Alex hoped it successfully bought some time against Hayeston. He’d hate for all this hurtful deception to have been for nothing.

So far their voices had been rising, but they hadn’t been strident enough for him to make out their words. They suddenly made a big leap in volume.

Of course it was Matt. “What the fuck, Hollis? How could you not tell me?!”

Some quieter words from Hollis that he couldn’t make out followed.

“Fuck whatever promise he pushed you to make! I’m your friend, not him!”

“I’m sorry! I was trying to help you!” Hollis sounded both frustrated and bewildered.

“How? You deceive me and keep a promise to Min, who is not only not your friend but also a fucking slave!”

Oh, he didn’t. Alex got up from the kitchen table, tossing the bottle into the trashvac.

“So now he’s just a ‘fucking slave’,” Hollis growled.

To Alex’s fury, Muldane didn’t even deny it. “Apparently not to you, since on the strength of one conversation with Alex, you chose loyalty to him over me. Never mind that we’ve been friends for years!”

“I wasn’t choosing him over you!” Hollis shouted as Alex reached the doorway.

“It’s true,” Alex said, seizing the opportunity to back him up. “His first loyalty has always been to you, Muldane. I tricked him into making a promise he would never have made otherwise. He was very unhappy with me.”

“If you tricked him into it, then he had no need to keep such a promise,” Matt said, raking him with a furious gaze.

“Hollis is a better man than both of us, and I preyed on that. If you’re going to be mad at anyone, be mad at me,” Alex said, trying to direct his fury onto the proper target.

“Oh, I’m mad at you too, don’t worry,” Matt retorted with a sneer.

If anger were food, the man could feed a small country on a regular basis. “He pestered me to tell you the truth. He did all he could to support you.”

“No, he didn’t. He could’ve just told me about Hayeston himself.” Muldane remained as stubborn as ever.

“Matt,” Hollis said, his voice softer now. “I felt that it wasn’t my secret to tell. I wanted it to come from him.”

Because he knew it would drive a deeper wedge between us if Matt didn’t hear it from me first, Alex realized, a lump forming in his throat. Hollis had risked Matt’s trust in him to bolster their relationship.

“Hollis.” The word was tinged with disbelief as Alex met the man’s gaze. He knew Hollis had done it ultimately for Matt, not for him, but he was grateful all the same.

“That doesn’t excuse lying to my face!” Matt exclaimed then, glaring at Hollis.

No trace of the good humor that usually lingered in Hollis’ eyes was visible now. “I know. And I’m very, very sorry, Matt. Believe me, that wasn’t what I wanted to do.”

Alex thought Hollis’ words and expression were sincere enough to be moving, but Matt was made of sterner stuff.

“Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t want to. But the point is, you still did it.”

“Muldane…”

“Enough.” Matt’s voice had a ring of finality. “You can see yourself out.”

Alex and Hollis both stared at him in shock, but Matt only had eyes for his old friend.

Hollis tried again, his voice shaky. “Matt-”

“No,” Matt said, cutting him off. “You chose him over me. I can’t talk to you right now.”

“What about later?” Alex had never heard Hollis sound so tentative.

After a long, suspended moment, Matt exhaled sharply. “Later yes.”

The admission steadied Hollis. “All right.”

He paused next to Alex on his way out of the room. Their gazes met, and Alex let his eyes convey his silent apology. I never meant for this to happen.

Dark eyes somehow filled with understanding instead of condemnation, Hollis squeezed his shoulder for a moment before moving on.

The front door closed softly behind him, leaving Alex alone with Matt, who was eerily silent. Tempted to slink away, Alex forced himself to stay. In the end it was Matt who left, disappearing into the den without a word.

Better give him some time to cool off, Alex decided, retreating to their room. Matt was angry and hurt, and he wouldn’t want to hear anything Alex had to say right now. However, after waiting for two hours, half-heartedly watching the vid while expecting the door to open at any time, checking on Matt seemed worth the risk. This latest drama was his fault, after all.

His knock on the closed door received no response. Deciding that was at least better than being told ‘fuck off’, Alex opened it. Matt was standing near the window, his back to the door. Uneasy, Alex sat down on the couch and waited him out. It didn’t seem a wise moment to push him.

At last Matt spoke, still facing away from him. “I may be furious with Hollis, but at least I know he meant well. You… every time I think you’re done fucking with me, you pull some new stunt, worse than the last.”

If I’m so terrible, then why do you still want me around? Alex didn’t ask the question, as much as part of him wanted to. He suspected even Matt didn’t really know the answer. Instead he’d just make another infuriating declaration of ownership, denying that there was anything more to it.

Swallowing down his own guilt for making things worse, Alex said, “I don’t set out to piss you off. But you want to know everything, and I… I’m not built that way, to reveal everything.”

Matt turned to look at him, and although Alex could see the anger in him still, his expression was pensive. He was listening.

“What I’m trying to say is, we both need time. Time to adjust.” Alex hesitated, knowing Matt wouldn’t like this part. “And patience.”

“Considering all the lies you’ve told, I’ve shown plenty of patience.”

Matt had had a lot thrown at him the past few days. Alex couldn’t refute that. “I’m not saying you haven’t shown any. But you could offer a little more.”

Matt’s eyes narrowed and his mouth opened, and Alex knew he was about to say something like: You’re my slave, I don’t have to do anything.

So he spoke first, before Matt drew them into another pointless argument. “If something matters to you, shouldn’t you be willing to work for it?”

The desperate question somehow hit the mark, Matt staring blankly at him, his gaze turned inward. Alex realized he’d unthinkingly found Matt’s central conflict. If he was just a slave, Matt shouldn’t care about their relationship, not beyond the basics. But he did, far too much. And Matt had worked for what he cared about—a life of his own, his business, his home—and gave generously of his time and support to his friends.

Where did Alex fit into his life? Before Matt had labeled Min as nothing more than another of his valued possessions. A pleasure his hard work allowed him to indulge in, like his cars. The fact that he’d ever thought of him that way was insulting enough; if after everything he’d revealed, Matt couldn’t completely let go of that idea…

The thick silence dragged out far too long for Alex’s peace of mind. He needed Matt to consider him worth fighting for.

“I’m not the only one who needs to make an effort,” Matt said at last.

Alex let out the breath he’d been holding. “I know.” They had to do this together; it certainly hadn’t been successful with him trying alone.

Matt leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as he studied him for a long time. His next words broke the heavy atmosphere that had fallen upon them. “Why don’t you start by telling me what in ashen hell you were thinking, dragging Hollis into this?”

Alex sighed. The coming months definitely wouldn’t be boring.