Spliced - Part Two, Chapter Four

[flighty_dreams]

TITLE: Spliced - Part Two, Chapter Four
AUTHOR: flighty_dreams
WARNINGS: NC-17, most definitely. slavefic. scifi setting.
WORD COUNT:  4,033
SUMMARY:  Part 2. Six years earlier. A crew. A ship.
NOTES:  Sorry for the wait, but hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Four

 

For months they were happy, living on the ship and becoming intimately acquainted with each other. Sometimes they were gentle in bed, like that first night, but more often they were feisty in bed, meeting as equals in a delightful battle. In the meantime he became even more integrated with the rest of the crew, forming friendships with them all. He was especially close to Acto, the older man becoming like an uncle to him. All the while, she peeled back the layers of his mask gradually, and he told her some of his story.

He’d helped himself and several other clones like him escape. She knew there was a lot more he didn’t tell her. Big things were skipped over, like how he knew how to read and write. And the money that he had? Reluctantly he admitted that it was technically stolen, but he considered it payment for his ‘services.’ Yes, his former master was probably searching for him, but he certainly wouldn’t be looking for some cargo man named Alex Senneth.

However, despite his unwillingness to tell his whole story—he swore one day he’d tell her more, when the memories were less painful—she understood that his reluctance had nothing to do with lack of trust in her. They gave each other confidence, he by wanting her, and she by accepting him, pain and all. He had been free for less than a year before they met, and so he was still uncertain of who he was and what he wanted or should expect out of life. She taught him more about the galaxy and how to live as a free man, and she watched him grow stronger and more self-confident over time.

One day Kate walked into the cabin they now shared and saw Alex glance away from the vid screen, his eyes catching hers.

“Look at this,” he said, pointing at the news report as she sat down on the bed next to him. “Lamberton bombed another city and they still can’t catch him.”

Unhappy, she frowned. “Yeah, apparently not even the bounty hunters are having any luck finding that damn terrorist.”

Alex pursed his lips thoughtfully, his brows lowering. “We could catch him ourselves.”

“What!” Kate couldn’t believe her ears.

“Well, we could use the money!” The bounty on the man was enormous, enough to buy a medium-class Aurora cruiser.

“And what makes you think we’ll be any more successful than the professionals?” she asked doubtfully.

“Can’t hurt to try, can it?” he grinned. Then his face sobered. “Besides, I want to stop him, before he kills anyone else.”

She studied his face for answers, knowing he’d give her none himself. They’d been together a couple months now, and she knew there was something in his past that ate at him. His guilt was an ever-present thing, but he refused to discuss the cause of it. Looking at him now she could see something different in his eyes:  hope. She realized that he saw this as a way of atoning for whatever he’d done. With that reason behind this, suddenly she couldn’t deny him this, as crazy an idea as it was.

Heaving a sigh, she agreed. “Fine, we can try. But I’m not telling Acto and Cera about this, you are,” she warned him, dreading their reactions.

“Fair enough.” His whole face brightened, the delighted grin on his face worth whatever stupidity this would lead to. She found herself shaking her head and smiling back at him.

He put an arm around her and guided them both to lie back on the bed. “Even if all we come up with is a lead, we’ll still get a partial reward. The cops want him too badly. And we’ll have done our part in stopping him.”

“You are way too optimistic about this,” she warned him.

“You forget, I know something about hiding from the authorities,” he reminded her, his voice low.

“Oh, I remember. I just don’t think it’s quite the same thing. It won’t be as easy as you think.”

He shook his head. “I don’t expect it to be easy. Just let me have my hope.” A smile played at his lips. “Think of all the things you could buy with that money.”

Alex didn’t include himself in the spending, for obvious reasons. He already had a good amount of money stashed away somewhere, but she refused to use it. Besides her moral disapproval of theft, she didn’t want to risk it ever being traced back as stolen money—upholding The Cutter’s reputation was important for business. In Alex’s case, she understood his reasons and didn’t judge him for it, but that didn’t mean she could just help herself to it.

But if they did get a reward…

“Yeah, a new engine would be nice,” she told him, letting fantasy overtake reality for a moment.

Alex laughed that light, carefree laugh that she loved, the one that had only appeared recently. “First thing you think of is an engine. You are not a typical woman, Kate Norrian.”

“Well, I’m Captain Kate Norrian. Gotta think of my ship first.”

Another chuckle escaped him. “Of course.” He kissed her cheek and leaned his face against hers. “You’re a special woman. Glad I met you, even if your true love is really the ship.” He lifted his head to look into her annoyed gaze.

Grinning at her he said, “Well, I know if it was a choice between saving the ship or saving me, you’d pick the ship. Much as it wounds my heart.” He even put a hand over his heart dramatically, the scoundrel.

Rolling her eyes, she sighed at him. “Well, she does give me a home and a livelihood. And she doesn’t leave the toilet seat up, or shoes in the doorway, or tear my cabin apart looking for something and leave it that way.”

As time passed, he was becoming increasingly messy, shedding that carefulness slavery had schooled in him. She’d felt the same way when she first moved out of her obsessively neat mother’s house. Suddenly she could be as disorganized as she wanted, and it felt so wonderfully freeing not to have to worry about what her mom would say about it.

“Ah,” Alex said, and she could recognize his teasing tone already, “but does she do this?” And he leaned his head down, his lips finding that sensitive place on her neck unerringly and scattering her thoughts immediately. “Or this?” A hand reached under her shirt and bra to squeeze her breast with just that right amount of pressure, and she lost more of her ability to think. “Or this?” he asked again, his lips shifting to meet hers as she gasped at the fingers stroking her nipple now.

After pausing for breath she said, “I suppose you do have your uses.”

He smirked at that, and she used his distraction to flip them over on the bed, landing on top of him, her legs straddling him as he let her. Pinning him down with her hands on his shoulders, she gave him a hungry look. Her hands moved slowly down his body, reaching under his shirt to explore his chest and stomach before one reached his half-hard sex and rubbed it through the material of his pants. Her other hand settled on his thigh, stroking it.

Squeezing his cock with a wicked smile, she said, “I can think of some uses for this part of you in particular.”

Hardening beneath her and desire shining in his eyes, he murmured thickly, “So can I.”

 

 

*                                  *                                  *

 

 

After a week of searching for leads, Min finally had to give up on Lamberton. At least the authorities eventually caught the man a few days later, thankfully.

This failure didn’t deter Min from going after other criminals however. He always made sure to do it during their off time, not letting it interfere with their cargo jobs; he’d promised a grumbling Acto that much. Mostly it was a lot of research, since you couldn’t go chasing after a fugitive until you knew or at least suspected where he or she was.

His optimism quickly cratered once he realized how arduous it was trying to find someone that could be on any of the fourteen AP planets. However, it did make him feel better about his own situation. As long as he stayed away from the DNA scanners some secpoints used, he would probably be okay.

Sitting at the desk in their cabin, he thought over what he’d learned about fugitives in the past few months. In a lot of cases, you could eliminate some planetary destinations, which helped to an extent. But even one planet was a big place, and there were other bounty hunters to consider as well. The professionals already knew the tricks, and they caught stupid fugitives swiftly.

But he was determined to learn, and he scoured the AP Web for any information he could get, such as reports on various captures. He found it fascinating reading. He’d done research before on how to hide prior to the escape, but this was the opposite approach. If he knew how people had been caught in the past, he could learn what mistakes to avoid himself, and apply past methods to future cases. It worked twofold, both for his own need for concealment, and his need to make a difference and catch these criminals.

And yes, it was only criminals he went after. Any slaves that escaped, he would rather help than hinder, for obvious reasons. It put a smile on his face whenever he read a report about a slave that had run away years earlier, never to be found again. Unfortunately, there weren’t very many of those, as slaves were almost always caught and dragged back to their masters, and punished harshly.

Min shuddered at the thought of being captured and hauled back into slavery. To his consternation though, he realized that the shudder hadn’t been entirely one of fear. Part of him could clearly recall the mixed pleasure and pain of submitting, and missed it. That was bad enough, but there was more.

As much as he enjoyed this new life—and he really did—part of him always felt he was undeserving of it. And the happier he was, the more guilt he felt. It was that dark part of him that whispered his fears and regrets. So happy with your new woman and your new life, and what about your victims? Where are they now?

Frustration and guilt bubbling out of him, he slammed his fist against the desk. Pain sprouted from it, and even as he gasped, an old, familiar thread of pleasure coursed through him. See? This is what you are, what you’ll always be, no matter how much you pretend. You deserve the punishment you crave.

“Fuck,” he cursed vehemently, hating himself, his genes, his past, and everything in between.

Even as he’d been overwhelmed by the initial wretched guilt when he first escaped, he’d also been so relieved to be free, and to get the others out. All the arrangements he made just after escaping had taken up his time for a long while, and then after those were done with he’d been distracted by all the effort it took to fit into society as a free. While still learning all that he’d joined this crew, and settled into this life.

But now that he’d grown accustomed to everything, the guilt that had lingered in the background while he was distracted kept moving to the forefront of his mind. On top of that, before starting his relationship with Kate, he’d been horny as a Tathian tomcat and reasoned it was just because he hadn’t had sex in months. But after spending months with Kate now, he reluctantly had to admit that he still had some Andorian needs that weren’t being met.

Cradling his wounded hand, he wondered what the hell he was going to do. The issue of fitting in he’d conquered, but this was something else altogether. Both the guilt and these occasional Andorian urges were getting worse, not better. In fact, they were intertwining. All his life he’d been taught that if he did something wrong, he would be punished for it.

Well, he’d done some very, very bad things, and hadn’t been punished. The part of him that would always be vulnerable to Andorian genes and training was telling him that if someone would just punish him, the guilt would go away. Logically he knew that it probably wouldn’t even after being disciplined, but his training still had enough influence over him to convince part of him that it might. And he almost felt horrible enough about everything to try it.

Kate, born a free, would never understand how he could think being punished would make him feel better. And she certainly wouldn’t hurt him herself—the woman didn’t have a sadistic bone in her body. Whereas some people had the sadism instinct, she had a huge protective instinct. She’d be more likely to harm whoever tried to hurt him.

So he couldn’t talk to her about this. But there was someone else he could talk to.

Two days later he found himself alone in a tacky motel room on Pyrun. Min hadn’t lied to Kate about where he was going; he’d simply told her that he needed to talk to Ten. It was all true; he just evaded her question on what he wanted to talk to Ten about.

Since their escape, he’d only talked to Ten a couple of times, and only discreetly through text-only on the AP Web, taking careful precautions. They’d all agreed that it was best they separate to keep everyone safer. If one was caught, it wouldn’t mean all were caught. Cutting off all communication except for dire emergencies—for which they’d use a special protocol—was part of the agreement. He and Ten had violated that rule already yes, but only very carefully and with both sides agreeing to it. Even so, he hadn’t talked to his friend since before he joined The Cutter’s crew, and they had a lot to catch up on.

Ten’s expression when he answered Min’s call was a blank mask, but Min detected the concern in his eyes.

“What’s wrong? I was surprised to hear from you,” were Ten’s first worried words over the vid screen. He was dressed casually and in a shabby motel room of his own, most likely also paid in cash as Min’s was.

“Hey,” Min replied, smiling fondly at him. “It’s not technically an emergency.”

The tension left Ten’s shoulders visibly. “Revk, you had me worried. I was thinking you’d been caught or were on the run. I checked the fugitive reports on the way here, looking for you.”

“Sorry to send you spiraling,” Min apologized. “I just really need to talk to you.”

“About what?” Ten asked, frowning as he sat down. He rubbed a hand through his own short, dyed dark hair nervously. The last time Min had seen him, it had been its natural burgundy color, and much longer.

Sighing, Min put his head in his hands. “About everything,” he told his best friend.

Knowing Ten needed a better answer than that, he struggled to elaborate. “It’s not going away, Ten.”

Min glanced up at his friend and saw his brows creasing in confusion. Min really didn’t want to admit it straight out, the words sticking in his throat.

“Wait. You mean you still feel bad about-” Ten cut himself off, waiting for confirmation.

Min nodded. “Yes.”

Ten sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them back up again. “It’s been months. How many times do I have to tell you? It’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is! It was my decision.”

“No, you didn’t intend for it to happen. They did. So it’s their fault, not yours.”

“But I should’ve known, I should’ve done something better,” Min insisted.

“No, you need to stop blaming yourself for this. It is not your fault,” Ten told him, a stern edge to his voice that Min had never heard before.

But it wasn’t enough to convince him. “Geri thought it was.”

“Because Geri’s an idiot who doesn’t appreciate anything. Like everything you did for us.”

“Geri hates me because I’m responsible for her losing Nik.”

“But you’re also responsible for her freedom, a fact she conveniently chose to forget,” Ten replied sarcastically.

Sarcasm from Ten was a pleasant surprise, and Min realized that he wasn’t the only who had changed in the past year. As guilty as he still felt about how everything had turned out and the actions he’d had to take, he was glad he’d been able to get Ten out; he deserved happiness.

“But what if it had been you instead of Nik? It almost was,” Min said, his chest tightening with dread at the thought.

“Minril,” Ten growled, bringing his focus back on him. “Like I told you before, stop dwelling on this and go live your life. We did all we could, and we failed. Brooding isn’t going to change anything. It won’t help Arri or any of the others. We just have to move on, like she told you to do.”

“Maybe you can, but I can’t,” Min responded stubbornly. “Not when it was my decision that condemned the three of them.”

Sighing and cursing under his breath, Ten finally said, “I don’t know why we’re arguing about this again. Why did you want to talk to me today?”

Gaze lowering, Min replied, “I had some questions for you.”

“Okay,” Ten said curiously, clearly not expecting that response.

Gathering his thoughts and his courage together, Min hesitantly asked, “Do you ever…” he paused, reluctant to continue.

Knowing Min, Ten waited patiently for him to finish, not pushing him.

Finally he got it out, looking up to meet his friend’s eyes. “Do you ever feel the Andorian urges?”

Ten grimaced before admitting softly, “Yes. Sometimes.”

Min let out a sigh of relief. “So it’s not just me then.”

His friend laughed. “No, it’s not.” Smiling lopsidedly he added, “I guess it’s to be expected.”

“Is it?”

“Well, we went through all that training, and with the genes to think about as well, sure why not? I don’t think it’s odd or unnatural that it would happen. I just ignore it though. I wouldn’t give up freedom just for a little relief.”

“Yeah,” Min agreed half-heartedly. He wondered what Ten would think of his thoughts lately. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

“What’s that?”

Min’s throat tightened, not wanting to make this admission at all. “Lately the guilt’s really been getting to me. Guilt over what happened to them and over the other things I had to do. And part of me feels like, maybe if I’m punished, I’ll feel better.”

Ten’s expression darkened. “No way. That’s the brainwashing they called training talking. I feel bad about some of the things we had to do too, but do not listen to that.”

“I know. It’s just that I’m getting to the point where I feel like anything’s worth trying. I don’t deserve to be free and enjoying myself when they can’t.” The weight of that pain was pulling him down, drowning him in an ocean of guilt.

“Brother, you suffered as much as the rest of us. You more than deserve to be happy. Do it for them if not for yourself,” Ten insisted, but it didn’t convince Min.

“I just don’t feel that way though, Ten. And I can’t force myself to feel that way, I wish I could,” Min said, as defeated as a general facing a massacre.

Ten sighed and leaned back. “Just don’t do anything stupid. Give it some more time.”

“It’s been months and months, and now it’s getting worse, not better.”

Exasperated, Ten’s tone sharpened. “What do you want me to say? You have to find a new life for yourself. Stop brooding over this and move on.”

“I do have a new life, and I am happy. Except for the guilt,” he told Ten. Sensing they needed to change the subject, Min paused and smiled shyly before adding, “I met someone.”

“Really?” Ten asked, his eyes lighting up.

“Yeah. She’s sweet and understanding. Doesn’t press me too hard to reveal everything.”

“How much did you tell her?” Ten frowned. “She must’ve seen the brand you were stupid enough to keep, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, she did, and didn’t judge me for it at all. Doesn’t even look at me any differently.”

“Revk, that’s amazing. Good for you. Where’s she from? Festun?” He grinned in that familiar impish way.

Min laughed. “No, but close enough in sympathies. Southern Tyrra.”

“Ah, that explains it.”

There was a pause in the conversation before Min asked curiously, “What about you? How’re you doing?”

“Festun’s nice. People are pretty laidback. And I’ve been doing a lot of writing. It’s helped me work through a lot of things.”

Min smiled gently at his friend. “That’s good. I definitely know how you feel, needing to get it out somehow.” Except he wanted to use physical pain to relieve his emotional pain, he reminded himself darkly.

They spoke for a while longer, revealing what they’d been doing in the months since they last talked. They also discussed the problems they’d both had adjusting to being free.

Before ending the call, Ten brought the discussion back to its original topic. “Min, just give it some more time. Eventually you’ll be able to let it go, as long as you don’t keep brooding.”

Voice laden with doubt, Min said, “Yeah, maybe.”

“I mean it, don’t do anything stupid,” Ten warned him. “I wouldn’t normally say this, but from what you’ve told me about her… Talk to Kate, let her help you through this.”

Min sighed. “I’ll see. Not exactly easy stuff to talk about.”

“None of it is. You’ve told her some and she handled it okay. You don’t have to tell her all of it but I think it’s time you tell her more.” His friend gazed at him steadily, eyes intent as he pressed his point.

“Fine, I’ll tell her more,” Min promised about as eagerly as a man doing housework.

“Good.” Ten got up, stretching his arms out. He smiled at Min and said, “It was good talking to you again, brother. It’s been too long.”

“Yeah, it has.” Min’s mouth twitched with amusement. “You’re a lot bossier than I remember.”

Ten laughed a rich, full laugh Min had never heard before. Freedom definitely suited him. “And you’re more stubborn than ever,” Ten told him.

Min had to chuckle at that one. “Blame Arri for that.” He moved quickly on, not letting regret and loss taint the light moment. “Guess freedom’s changed both of us.”

Ten smiled widely. “Yes, yes it has. For the better.” His mouth straightened, his expression turning solemn. “And I’ve you to thank for that. Remember that when you’re spiraling over the guilt. You have a lot more to be proud of than guilty of. Just wish you’d recognize that.”

“I do,” Min replied truthfully. Rationally he could see that, but the shame in his heart easily outweighed the pride.

They said their goodbyes, and Min was left staring at a blank vid screen.

He sat there for a long time, alone in the dark, just pondering his situation. Recalling Arri’s vivid eyes, bright with tears the last time he saw her, and the promises he’d made to her. Remembering Nik and the others, the last time he’d seen each of them, before he sacrificed not only their chance at freedom but also their lives. Kate and the crew, their faces lingering in his memory, the meals they’d shared, the quiet moments with Kate—and the not so quiet moments with her too.

Everything led up to this moment, this decision. He considered it all, what he could live with, and what he could not, and finally made his choice.

He was going to do something really stupid.

Chapter Five