Spliced - 4.4A

[flighty_dreams]

TITLE: Spliced - 4.4A
AUTHOR: flighty_dreams 
WARNINGS: NC-17. slavefic. scifi setting. M/m.
WORD COUNT:  3,564 (this chapter)
SUMMARY:  4.4 - The dinner continued.
NOTES:  The index to this story available here. And you might hurt me when you see how this ends, but the rest of the chapter should be up fairly soon. And I'll hand out any weapons you like to hit Matt with. ;) And thanks to aurila , aka the Matt whisperer, for characterization advice. XD
FEEDBACK: Always welcome. :) Sorry for any typos.

 

Frowning as he stared at the perplexing clone, Matt asked his next question.

“Why did you come back this time?”

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

Alex stifled a surge of panic.

Of all the questions Matt could ask him, this was the worst. If the Kartan had asked where he lived or where he worked, he could have avoided answering with the excuse that he needed to protect his brothers and sisters. He couldn’t say that for this question, since it had little to do with them, but he couldn’t avoid it either. To refuse to answer would show Matt that he had something to hide – which was completely true – and goad the man into pushing for a response.

He couldn’t tell Matt about Hayeston, not yet. But how could he keep his promise to be honest without mentioning him?

However, Hayeston wasn’t the only reason he’d come back; he’d considered it even before discovering his stalker. The other part of this equation was his own tangled knot of feelings for Matt. Back in the office he’d said as much as he was comfortable with, and he didn’t want to go more into it. Flame all, he wasn’t even sure what he felt for the man, and it didn’t really matter yet, not until they had formed some kind of relationship. The months spent with Matt as Min didn’t count much towards that in the grand scheme of things.

“Well?” Matt prompted, looking at him with the impatience of a Mikodran aristocrat waiting for service. Or more accurately, a Kartan aristocrat in this case. “Why did you come back?”

Flustered, Alex felt his face reddening as he searched for an escape. “Why do you think I came back?”

“No, don’t turn this back on me. Answer the ashen question, or I’ll make you regret it,” Matt retorted, sending him a chilling glare that would’ve sent a true Andorian cowering under the table.

Alex resisted any urge to flee, his back stiffening instead, the familiar thrill of confrontation removing any anxiety. After all, he’d gotten Matt angry enough times by now to know how to handle it, and Muldane wasn’t the only one who’d suddenly become furious. When would the bastard learn that he wouldn’t give in to threats?

Curving his lips upwards into a smile, he forced himself to say lightly, “Overreact much? I was just curious.”

Victory as sweet as Tamrikan chocolate rushed through him as he watched Matt’s scowl intensify. He’d taken control away from the Kartan; he refused to let the man bully him into anything.

“You are the most infuriating-”

“Muldane,” Alex said, interrupting him, “I’ll answer the damn question. But I told you before that I wouldn’t let you push me around, and I meant it.”

Expression still tight with anger, Matt opened his mouth before closing it just as quickly. Distaste at having to accommodate the clone curling his mouth, he studied Alex for a minute while the clone met his gaze steadily, not backing down under the careful scrutiny.

Gradually the frown lessened, Matt’s anger melting like ice on a sunny day. His face was troubled now and his tone was soft, no longer demanding. “If you think I’m such a bully, why did you come back?”

There was something so uncertain and vulnerable in those familiar, handsome features that answering the question was suddenly easy.

"I came back because despite your stupid Kartan beliefs, I'm attracted to you. And I wanted another chance with you, for things to be better. Like I said earlier, I want us to have a relationship, not... whatever it was we had before,” Alex replied, saying more than he’d intended to. “So I lured you to Festun so you could see what I was truly like, to know that I wasn't just a dumb Andorian."

Matt smiled wryly. “You were never just a dumb Andorian, even if I wouldn’t admit it back then.” The admission soothed Alex, even as he wished Matt had said it months or even weeks earlier.

A silence fell then as they gazed at each other pensively. With the hesitation of a man who knows he probably won’t like the answer he receives, Matt broke the quiet and asked him, “Why me though? Couldn’t you find someone without ‘stupid Kartan beliefs’, as you put it?”

“I-” Alex paused, unsure what he should say. Dare he tell Matt that he’d already tried that route with Kate? The man wouldn’t take it well, but he was trying to be honest, wasn’t he?

“Why you?” he murmured more to himself than to Matt, his eyes shifting to look out over the other tables again. They alighted on their waiter, who approached their table and removed the finished fondue. They accepted the server’s offer of coffee but declined dessert, and the Andorian stepped away again.

“I thought you didn’t like coffee,” Matt commented.

The observation surprised Alex. “I didn’t think you’d noticed that.”

The Kartan’s mouth twisted into not quite a smile and he shrugged, not giving an explanation.

Recognizing Matt in ‘Stubborn Mode’ – which admittedly, was switched to ‘On’ about 90% of the time – Alex didn’t push for an answer. Instead he commented, “I thought you didn’t drink coffee at night.”

As Min he’d learned Matt’s habits thoroughly and quickly; Kristech had trained them to have good memories. Observe everything, miss nothing.

 “I figured I’d need the energy boost tonight,” Matt explained, not showing any surprise at Alex knowing his habits.

Chuckling, Alex said, “So did I.”

After all, they probably wouldn’t be sleeping much tonight.

Another quiet fell, and Alex marveled that Matt wasn’t pushing him to answer his earlier question anymore.

He said as much, and Matt gave him another wry smile that drew his attention to the Kartan’s tempting lips. “Perhaps I can learn after all,” he drawled, shrugging carelessly.

Alex couldn’t tell whether Matt was just teasing him, or whether he at least partially meant those words. Maybe Matt really was taking his words to heart finally, that pushing or threatening wasn’t the way to go? Or maybe he was just being stupidly optimistic, and should know better.

Either way, he knew he owed Matt an answer. He savored Matt showing rare patience for a bit longer before sighing and paraphrasing, “Why not someone easier to get along with?”

He brushed the bangs of the wig away from his face; he’d be happy to take the itchy thing off later. “It’s not that I haven’t tried before. I have.”

Matt’s eyes narrowed, and Alex knew his words were stirring the Kartan’s possessiveness. He’d never known anyone who got jealous as easily as this man did. Taking a deep breath, he continued, deliberately phrasing it as a plural, “It never worked out. There was always something missing.”

He still loved Kate, and he suspected part of him always would, but she couldn’t satisfy everything in him. He needed to look elsewhere.

“And then I met you, and I wondered… despite all our issues, maybe with you I could find whatever was missing.” He paused and then mentioned, “Remember that need for excitement Hollis talked about you having? I have it too.”

Matt shook his head with a snort. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

More than the man would ever know, Alex mused.

Hesitating, the clone added another reason. “And you remind me of someone I loved very much.”

Jealousy sparked more deeply in the Kartan’s eyes, even as he stared at Alex thoughtfully. “Who?”

Looking down at the white tablecloth in front of him, Alex hid the sadness he feared might show in his face. “One of my sisters.” He released a dark chuckle. “You’re very different people. All the Kartan aspects of you of course don’t fit, but you are similar in temperament. She never knew when to leave well enough alone, and she was so stubborn and impatient. She’d grow bored easily too, switching from one thing to another, except for the few things she really cared about.” Like me and the others.

Only yesterday while brooding over the situation with Muldane had he finally made the connection between Arri and Matt. Ten, the obnoxious bastard, had rolled his eyes and said he’d certainly made a fool of himself over both of them. But it definitely helped explain why he was drawn to Matt.

The Kartan was looking away from him, and he had the strangest expression on his face. Alex couldn’t decipher it, but it certainly intrigued him. Finally Matt seemed to realize he was watching and turned back to him. His face cleared of whatever he’d been thinking, and instead he drawled, “That’s not a very positive description.”

Alex didn’t bother holding back his grin. “Flawed, but lovable.”

Then he flushed as he realized that could be implied as referring to Matt as well as Arri. Yes, he cared about the Kartan, but he didn’t love him. He couldn’t love someone that still might abuse him – or at least try to – and that didn’t respect him. He had too much self-respect for that; Kate had taught him he deserved more. But his traitorous heart was hoping that one day the clueless bastard would see sense and then they could finally have a healthy relationship.

Matt was looking at him very curiously now, and Alex hastened to get past the awkward moment. “You just remind me of her a little, that’s all.”

“Is this the sister that was killed before you left?” Matt asked with uncharacteristic gentleness.

“Yes.” Alex huffed out the admission softly.

“I’m sorry,” was the gruff response.

Alex glanced at him warily, but Matt seemed sincere enough. In fact, since he’d first mentioned Arri, the Kartan had become oddly subdued.

Knowing he should acknowledge Matt’s statement in some way, Alex nodded but said nothing in reply. What was there to say? Nothing would ever bring her back.

His thoughts almost strayed to a dark place then, but he reined them in. Still, that near slip made him nervous. With everything going on, his control wasn’t good enough to handle more talk of Arri or Kristech.

The waiter brought their coffee and Alex promptly dumped sugar in his beverage to sweeten the bitter taste. Matt gave him an amused look at the action, but didn’t comment, adding a bit of sweetener to his own brew.

As they sipped at the coffee, Matt said, “Tell me about your training.”

Alex raised an inquisitive brow, hiding his inner panic. “Haven’t we talked about this already?”

“I want a more detailed answer.” When Alex didn’t immediately respond, Matt added, “I’m puzzled that they deliberately chose Andorians for this. Half-breed or not, I’d have thought natural Andorian docility would make it hard for you all to act against your masters, like spying on their affairs.”

If only he knew. Formulating his thoughts, Alex asked unhappily, “Is this one of…?”

Even on a regular day when he was feeling steadier, he’d rather be hit by a hovercar than talk in depth about his training at Kristech, so there was no way he’d give this one to Matt for free. Seeing the Kartan’s brows begin to furrow, he pointed out, “It’s not exactly fun for me to talk about.”

“You’ve already talked about it before,” Matt insisted. “I shouldn’t have to use a question on it.”

Alex crossed his arms, stubbornness rising to the surface. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Glaring at Alex over the brim of his cup, Matt growled, “Fine, consider it one of the questions. Now you have to talk about it.”

Anxiety overran his obstinacy. Threats he could defy, but verbal corners were something else altogether. Could he handle discussing this right now?

“Ask something else,” he said, an edge of desperation creeping into his voice that he’d failed to repress.

Anger shifted to confusion. “Why is this bothering you so much?” Matt asked.

“You aren’t the only one with things in your past that you don’t like to talk about,” Alex told him grimly.

He saw Matt assess the argument thoughtfully for a few moments before his face firmed, ‘Stubborn Mode’ activating again. “True, but we made a deal tonight. You don’t have the option of refusing.”

“I could just not answer,” Alex pointed out.

“And then you show exactly what your word is worth, clone,” Matt retorted, his anger returning.

He couldn’t afford to prove such a thing to Matt. The Kartan’s opinion of his trustworthiness was already abysmally low, and with good reason.

“Fine, I”ll answer the fucking question,” Alex said through gritted teeth, inwardly cursing the Kartan bastard and praying his control would hold.

Muldane smiled, his eyes glinting with a triumph that Alex longed to remove with his fist.

With effort, he focused on getting this over with quickly instead. How much to say? He’d never make it through all of it and hopefully he wouldn’t have to. Best to address Matt’s previous comments about Andorian docility directly first.

“It didn’t matter who we’d been sold to, our ultimate master remained the same, and we followed his orders,” Alex explained unhappily.

“The same bastard who broke your fingers?” Matt growled, something dark and alarming in his eyes. Despite the Kartan’s obnoxious pushing a minute earlier, warmth blossomed in Alex’s chest as he recognized it for what it was: protective fury. He was intimately familiar with the emotion himself, feeling it often during his childhood when terrible things happened to his brothers and sisters. But witnessing Matt being concerned for him… he couldn’t help softening towards the man a little, even as the haunting memories of Kristech Labs distracted him.

“Yes,” Alex affirmed harshly. “He believed the Andorian nature plus years of discipline and training would keep us loyal. And really, he and his staff were all we knew, so it worked well enough for a very long time.” Until they’d gotten enough of a taste of the universe outside Kristech to realize how much they were missing.

The Kartan nodded. “Their influence pervaded every aspect of your lives.”

“Yes. We followed their orders,” Alex told him, resentment at how they’d all been used entering his voice.

“So even when subjected to other owners, you considered him to be your true master. The man who started the project and created you.”

Old hate welling up inside him, Alex’s lips curled. “Yes, him.”

“Even though he killed some of you?”

Alex met the Kartan’s gaze. “People may despise the tyrant that rules them, but if they are powerless, they are forced to obey him all the same.”

“Of course,” Matt murmured, understanding washing through his face.

“There were lots of orders we didn’t want to follow. That was a constant throughout our lives there. We didn’t have a choice though.” Determinedly he stopped himself from remembering specific examples of orders he hadn’t wanted to obey, feeling too mentally fragile to go down that road at the moment.

“But I remember you saying that the spying and the stealing, you couldn’t do it anymore,” Matt pointed out.

“Yes, eventually it came to that point.” Alex uneasily thought back to how Kristeer’s earlier cloning experiments differed from him and his siblings, created later on. The bastard had tried his best to remove all scruples, but in his arrogance he hadn’t considered that that weapon could be used against him.

“He thought Andorians would blindly follow orders. After all, if society can be brainwashed into thinking clones aren’t human, why not brainwash Andorians into following any order they’re given? Most labs pretty much do that already,” Alex noted, disgust filling him.

“So eventually he pushed you too far and you all rebelled. You told me before that you left the lab a mess. Did he hunt you after you escaped?” Matt inquired, a harsh glint in his eye.

Alex chose his words carefully, not wanting to go into detail. There was Hayeston to consider, among other things. “I’m sure people were sent after us, but they weren’t successful. Bounties were put on us, so they had hunters after us too. But they couldn’t exactly explain to the hunters that we were far different from regular Andorians, which probably helped us a lot. It’s been years now, and no one’s ever found us.” At least not yet, he added, thinking of Hayeston.

The Kartan was frowning worriedly. “I received a couple calls after you disappeared, asking about you.”

“Really? What did they want?” Alex asked, feigning wary surprise.

Matt explained that he’d received calls from some company called Vendenza, asking about his behavior.

“Oh, those are pretty standard,” Alex told him, “when bounties are put out on slaves, especially types like Andorians. I’m not actually from Vendenza’s labs, but their records showed I was, so they must’ve followed up on it.”

“So it’s not anything to worry about?” Matt asked, brows creasing.

“Nope,” Alex lied, ignoring the flip flopping of his stomach. He couldn’t tell Matt outright that someone was after him, even though he knew the man would be livid later.

Thankfully, Matt accepted his explanation, but he unfortunately returned to his previous topic. “What ever happened to the man in charge?” 

“He wasn’t a young man when he started the project over 30 years ago,” Alex told him.

“So he’s dead now?” Matt asked, a hopeful note in his voice.

“Yes,” Alex replied, glad that much was true.

“What else did he do to you?” demanded Matt, a harsh glitter in his eyes.

Tensing, Alex glared at him. “What, killing my sister wasn’t bad enough? You want a list of his sins?”

“I want to know more, yes,” Matt told him, blind to how agonizing this was for him.

He couldn’t talk about this anymore. His gut still churned uneasily whenever he thought about the bastard at length. Too many bad memories of the hideous things that monster had done to all of them. The same memories he stuffed deep down inside himself, denying them influence over the present.

Control slipped from him then, the conversation having lowered the walls on those memories. Kristeer’s sneer as he watched the guards drag Arri out of her cell, gloating at her desperation. She’d fought them, knowing what they were about to do and refusing to die without a fight. His girl had died as defiantly as she’d lived; they’d had to sedate her after she severely injured two of them. After she’d disappeared behind the closed door at the end of the hallway, for one long moment Min had let himself glare at Kristeer, pain and fury raging through his heart, before reluctantly hiding his reaction as he’d promised her.

Some promises were harder to keep than others.

An image of blood splattering across a floor, mixing with a mess of unrecognizable flesh, flashed through his mind. A crumpled form, so still in death as he looked down at it, agony and fear overwhelming him. He stood above it, unable to move as he turned his gaze to his hands, stained with blood. He knew there was too much blood, but he’d still had to check, to lean down and touch that bloodied neck to see if that heart still beat.

A touch on his arm startled him, and he turned from the horror before him to see Sharra beside him. The same blank mask that he often used covered her face, concealing her emotions.

“Come on,” she said, tugging his arm.

He stared at her; it was better than looking at the floor. His feet still couldn’t seem to move, and he saw sorrow leak into her amber eyes.

Sorrow for him, he realized, and for all of them.

He forced himself to move, and as he let her pull him along, a promise echoed firmly in his heart. Never again. He’d never let it happen again…

Alex pushed his chair back from the table roughly, bile rising in his throat at the memory.

Matt looked at him with sudden concern, his stubborn pushiness dissolving. “Min?”

He shook his head, responding to the unspoken question. No, he was definitely not all right. “Excuse me,” he said hollowly, feeling light-headed as he rose from the table.

Matt seemed ready to follow him, but Alex shook his head and said unsteadily, “I’ll be right back.” The Kartan’s jaw tightened, but he nodded. Alex was too upset to be amazed by the Kartan’s shocking compliance.

Dazed by trying to keep the memories at bay, Alex somehow managed to find the restroom. Stumbling, he reached a stall and entered it, leaning against the closed door.

The nausea he fought off, but locking the nightmares away proved far more difficult. Just like he forced himself not to act on behalf of most of the suffering slaves he encountered – though as he’d told Matt he could never fail to notice them – there were some things inside him he didn’t act on either.

They came out in other ways of course – such as recklessness at times – but not so obvious that he’d have to admit to them. Pain, anger, guilt: none of them could help him, and none of them could change the past. He took a deep breath, willing it all away.

He didn’t know how many minutes passed before he was finally able to calm himself, putting the memories back in the dark corner of his mind he normally kept sealed.

Pausing at the bathroom door, he looked down at his hands. The blood was long gone, like so much else.

4.4B

Comments

[spiceblueeyes.livejournal.com]

So I've just caught completely up with the whole Splices story (and it took me a while) and you post a new chapter, Yay!
I'm loving this story and these characters.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That's lovely to hear, glad you've enjoyed the story so far. :) Thanks for stopping by to say so. :D

And I love your icon. <3 Spike.

[insignificus.livejournal.com]

This is a wonderful story, very diverse and captivating. I love the attention to detail, characterization and Min/Alex's storyline is great. Oh, and the Min/Matt interaction is very hawt, ahem. You are a great writer!

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

I'm happy you're enjoying it. :D And thanks for the compliments on the aspects of the story you like. :) Just happy to entertain! :D

[1more-sickpuppy.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. The whole thing certainly picked up speed and angst towards the end here. I don't hate Matt, his pushing wasn't meant to hurt Min, even if it was selfish and blind. I hope this makes him realize that Min has jsut as strong emotions as Matt does, and a fucked up backstory that he needs to be a little careful with.

I'm not that happy that Alex lied by omission - why he came back. Now it sounded like Matt was the main reason he returned, but before it has seemed like the most important thing was overcoming his pursuer. I get that it's a mix of both, but I just wish Matt didn't have to find out later because it will be no better than a lie to him. Small comfort that Alex had considered going back even before the threat came up. Still, there is no way he could force Matt to not act if he told the whole truth.

Looking forward to the continuation.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah your assessment of Matt here is pretty spot on. He wasn't being malicious, but he was selfish. As for whether this will help him see more clearly, that remains to be seen. ;) But we sure hope so!

Yeah, Alex did flat out lie, when he'd sworn to be honest. Sigh. I'd want to knock some sense into him too, but he's also in a difficult position. Like you said, if he told the truth he wouldn't be able to prevent Matt from doing something dumb. So he felt he had no choice but to lie, especially when asked straight out whether anyone was after him. Welp, this will come up again later, of course. ;)

Thanks for commenting. :)

[alina-kotik.livejournal.com]

I am happy to see Matt is finally learning - yes, it took a lot of time, and will probably take more, but Alex has been right to hope, they will find each other. Though it was cruel and thoughtless to insist on Min/Alex answering the question that was obviously so painful to him. Then, again, Matt is still not used to thinking about Min as a "full human" with deep and painful emotions, despite everything he has witnessed so far. Also, Matt has shut himself off emotionally for such a long time, that he might not have the ability to read people, besides the more obvious signs he would be looking for while dealing with his business partners.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Matt's taking baby steps but still has a long way to go. He shouldn't have pushed Alex like that. And you're right, Matt is still not used to thinking of Min that way (damn he really is slow!), but hopefully he will finally learn! His own irritation/anger with Min also blinds him too, but more on that in 4.4B. ;)

And yes, his emotional shutdown doesn't help either... thanks for commenting. :)

[twicet.livejournal.com]

I am enjoying this dinner as we get to hear more of the background. Thank you.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! Glad you're enjoying it, even if Alex isn't. ;) Thanks for commenting.

[dureeena.livejournal.com]

let`s state the obvious: great like expected. :-)

i run out of praysing comments. please go re-read my old ones.
thanks for writing.

nearly forgot: and please hurry up!

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

lol ok, maybe i'll go reread those. :P

sorry for the few days delay, took me longer than expected to finish revising 4.4A. the good news is, the rest of the chapter (4.4B) is written, i just need to finish going over it. so it should be up this week. ;-) how's that for a fast update??

[spike7451.livejournal.com]

This was a very powerful chapter. Matt is still resisting isn't he? Oh well I suppose little steps forward are better than no steps at all.
Poor Alex, Matt kept pushing and pushing, though i think at the end he realised he may have gone too far.
These two are going to drive me nuts before we're finished. :)

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Matt wouldn't be Matt if he didn't have to be dragged kicking and screaming the whole way... sigh!

And yes, Matt went a little too far there. He should've listened to Alex. Not that poor Alex is free of blame either in this situation... he's lying outright and by omission. (Though I'll still cuddle him to ease his pain. Ahem.)

Sigh, they're gonna drive me nuts too!!! XD

Thanks for commenting. :)

Spliced

[dramagirl007.livejournal.com]

Poor Alex/Min I want to give him a hug now, he needs a little comfort after all of those memories coming from the surface.

(Hugs Min/Alex) I hope he feels better soon.

I hope Matt comforts him some, he'll need it

Keep up the good work and please update ASAP. :)

Re: Spliced

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

I know!! *snuggles Alex close* He needs some comfort! (And some lovin'. Ahem.)

As for an update... soon! Either today or tomorrow! How's that? :D

[freece.livejournal.com]

This extended dinner scene is killing me! The angst just keeps ramping up. There's such a disconnect between reality and what Matt understands.

Not sure why I find Matt's jealousy hotter than Alex's but I do. Just a random aside, I have completely stopped thinking of him as 'Min' in my head. He's just Alex now.

Yay for finishing the next bit over the weekend!

Don't keep them at dinner forever . . . eventually they have to get to dessert . . . right?

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Yes, the angst! It was weird for me writing this chapter, cause the angst was so thick. I was like wow, haven't done this in a while. XD And yes, Matt and common sense are still not in sync... sigh.

Lol... extended is the right word for it. The dinner was supposed to be 1 chapter... how it's gotten so long I have no idea... sigh. It took me longer than I thought to cover everything I wanted to cover... I think it will be worth it in the end though.

And 4.4B is the last of dinner, I PROMISE. 4.5 will be 'dessert' ahem. ;) (don't read that one in a library with children around, just a heads up. :P )

Hmm, I dunno, there's just something about Matt all pissy and jealous that pushes my buttons too. XD Not that I don't like Alex being jealous too, but he's more mature about such things... perhaps that makes it less fun lol.

I have completely stopped thinking of him as 'Min' in my head. He's just Alex now.
Good! Mission accomplished!! :D That's how I look at it too. Matt's just a little umm... slower to change than the rest of us. XD

Thanks for commenting! :D And woot, I finished with 4.4B. It's posted.