Spliced: Part 4 - Chapter 4B

[flighty_dreams]

TITLE: Spliced - 4.4B
AUTHOR: flighty_dreams 
WARNINGS: NC-17. slavefic. scifi setting. M/m.
WORD COUNT:  2,803 (this chapter)
SUMMARY:  4.4B - The dinner continued.
NOTES:  The index to this story available here. This chapter was kicking my butt in editing it, and there are probably still mistakes in here somewhere. Sorry for that. I just wanted it out of my hair finally. And thanks to aurila aka the Matt whisperer, for characterization advice. XD
FEEDBACK: Always welcome. :) Sorry for any typos.

 

Matt had never seen anyone turn pale enough to rival Karta’s alpine peaks.

He watched with concern as Min unsteadily made his way to the restroom, almost staggering like a drunk. Instinctively Matt wanted to stop him or go after him, but it felt… wrong, especially after what he’d done.

The way Min had looked at him as he stood up from the table, the cocky mask gone and his eyes wide and lost and agonized, made his chest tighten heavily. He’d seen a similar expression once, years ago in the mirror, and knew instantly that whatever Min was spiraling over, the clone couldn’t talk about it. Ashes, he certainly wouldn’t tell the Andorian about his own issues. So as badly as he wanted to know what had upset Min – something about his past at the lab, considering their conversation topic – on this at least, he wouldn’t push anymore.

Reaching for his wineglass, he poured himself more wine from the half empty bottle. He was already feeling the wine he’d drunk so far, but he needed more to steady himself at the moment.

Too busy focusing on the clone’s obnoxious attitude and how much it infuriated him, Matt hadn’t realized how broken Min was beneath his masks. He should’ve considered that Min’s upbringing must haunt him at least as much as Matt’s own haunted him, if not more. Matt would loathe discussing his own father; he shouldn’t have pressed Min for more details on the bastard who had abused him.

Regret at demanding more ate at him. The clone’s resistance had been a clear sign that the Andorian wasn’t comfortable with the subject, but he’d thought it was simply the clone being his obstinate, deceptive self.

He hadn’t been able to resist pressuring him for information; the clone had become an overpowering obsession for him. Ever since he saw him again on Festun, he’d noted everything he could about Min, needing to solve the puzzle that was his Andorian. As he’d admitted to Hollis months ago, before Min’s disappearance he hadn’t paid much attention to the clone beyond a certain level. He’d been just a slave to him then, but that had changed.

And now despite a month of analyzing the Andorian, he’d never suspected this. Obviously any abuse would scar someone, but he hadn’t known it still upset Min that much; in their previous conversation on the topic, he’d seemed bothered but not traumatized by it. Remembering the clone’s distressed expression a minute earlier, rage at the bastard that had done this to his Min seared him. If the asshole weren’t dead already, he’d be demanding his name to hunt him down.

Guilt replaced his fury as he once again regretted his behavior. He of all people understood that there were some things best left buried. To be fair though, the clone had suggested the questions, not Matt. Min should’ve been prepared for discussion of his past. But, Matt observed guiltily as he drank some more wine, he could have been more respectful of the clone’s entreaty to not discuss his training.

The only excuse he could conjure for his conduct was that this whole dinner had left him unsettled. It was surreal to sit across from Min at a restaurant having dinner and talking like they were friends and equals, with Min not even looking like himself. Odder still, as the night wore on he’d begun to enjoy himself despite his resentment of the clone’s manipulation.

But Min comparing him to his sister had still completely thrown Matt. Incredibly, he’d been pleased rather than offended. Until that moment, he would’ve thought he’d find it offensive to be compared to an Andorian slave, of all people. After all, he was from Karta’s upper class, growing up accustomed to wealth and to looking down on the lower classes, from the middle class all the way down to slaves.

Even though he’d left Karta years ago now and had become more open-minded about social status, Monlea still had its own stratification, albeit less strict than Karta’s. He wasn’t a snob like Kartan society had tried to teach him to be; there was more to a man than how much wealth he had. Natural borns were natural borns, and equal in his eyes. But cloned slaves were still clearly on the bottom, below naturals and free men – clone or not.

Finding his wineglass empty, he poured himself another glass as his thoughts swirled cloudily.

So why had he actually been pleased when Min compared him to his dead clone sister? Because she was his beloved sister, he belatedly realized through his stupor. If Min cared about her, then he would care about someone that reminded him of her. And Matt wanted him to care, very much. The clone had admitted as much, but he’d also left Matt once already, and planned to do so again. The Kartan would take any reassurance he could get.

Gazing out over the restaurant, noting the polished dark wood floors and the tasteful paintings on the walls, he kept a watchful eye out for Min’s return. As the din of the nearby diners and the clatter of plates passed over him, he noticed that the crowd had died down.

He found himself studying the slave servers in their red uniforms. If with all his obsessive scrutiny of Min he still hadn’t been able to see deeply enough, how much did he fail to notice about other slaves? Did they all have hidden traumas? Recalling his realization regarding the full potential for abuse within slavery during one of his recent vid calls with Min, he swallowed uncomfortably. That reminder coupled with Min’s words over dinner criticizing slavery made the answer a resounding yes. They were probably all traumatized in some way.

However, plenty of naturals were too. Everyone had bad memories; slaves having them didn’t make slavery inherently wrong, despite Min’s outrageously abolitionist opinions. It just needed to be policed better to make up for potential abuses, he told himself, not entirely convinced but unable to come up with a better solution.

The reality was that most clones, unlike Min, could never take care of themselves. They weren’t capable of it, even if Matt did acknowledge that they were people. Much like naturals born with certain mental disorders, they needed a caretaker. Being human didn’t make clones socially equal to natural born, free men like himself, even if they were legally freed. If most of them didn’t know what to do with their freedom, and couldn’t function on their own, what was the point of freeing them?

Like Nuit, for example. Even Matt could see that Nuit had no desire to leave Hollis’ side, so why free him? And Nuit couldn’t survive on his own. At least Hollis must’ve seen sense, because despite his ridiculous suggestion months ago, he’d made no move to free Nuit.

What did Min do with the ones he helped free? Matt wondered suddenly. Since he could only free a few out of the many, maybe Min only chose clones that he sensed could handle freedom. He couldn’t imagine ‘Alex’ babysitting a bunch of scared, helpless clones – although picturing it was amusing.

Matt refilled his wineglass with the last of the wine, not recalling how he’d drunk enough to empty the bottle. He wasn’t drunk – they’d eaten too much food for that – but his thinking was definitely fuzzier, although normally he was a fairly lucid drunk, thankfully. However, no amount of thinking, sober or not, was going to resolve this situation easily. He still wasn’t sure how he was going to handle his Andorian, especially since he’d come back with that improper attitude fully intact.

Yes, he understood that Min was unique, but socially he was still a clone and a slave. His slave. He’d humored Min by going to this dinner tonight, the lure of answers too strong to resist, but it wouldn’t change anything. Min was still his, and despite his attitude as ‘Alex’, he’d still signed a contract agreeing to serve him, and Matt would ensure that he upheld it. How he could manage that without pushing Min too far was a mystery he had yet to solve though.

Like he’d pushed him too far tonight. Guilt ate at him again as he acknowledged once more that he’d acted badly.

Although the clone’s treatment of him these past months angered Matt, his intention wasn’t to subject Min to anymore abuse. But he did need to discipline him for his past offenses. He couldn’t allow the clone to think that because of his special characteristics, he wasn’t answerable to Matt. Legally he was still a slave, not his equal. Having a childhood and a family of sorts didn’t change his genes or his social status.

Remembering Min’s passionate words back in his office, calling almost wistfully for them to have a deeper relationship, Matt focused on how the clone’s eyes had looked then. They’d been full of emotion, and it reminded him of Min’s pale, tortured look minutes earlier. He should be furious with the Andorian still for all he’d done to him, but Min’s haunted expression kept tearing at him.

He couldn’t embrace that anger at the moment, his worried gaze sliding over to the restrooms again. Any rage he could stir up was all for the man who had abused him, and at himself, for pressuring the Andorian too much.

Considering the restaurant’s layout, Min couldn’t leave without him noticing, but his apprehension grew as the clone’s absence lengthened. Signaling for the bill, he pondered the situation. Should he go after him?

The Andorian server returned, and Matt spared one last glance towards the men’s room before deciding to pay the bill. He pulled out his PC and completed the digital transaction. Why he suddenly felt the need to pay he didn’t analyze too closely, beyond telling himself that it was more proper for him to pay and not the clone—the slave. That reasoning rang hollow as he strode towards the restroom afterwards, worry for Min and embarrassment for his previous behavior churning in his gut, but he ignored it.

As he reached the hallway he spiraled out for a moment when he spotted the side door at the end of the corridor. Had the clone slipped out without him knowing it? Panic at the thought of losing Min again already made his pulse race. Maybe Min had left, deciding that he was pushing him too much already, or that things would never work out. Or maybe he’d just spiraled out and gone outside for some air. With trepidation he paused at the men’s room door, hoping Min was still in there but afraid to find him gone.

Suddenly the door opened to reveal the clone, who started at seeing Matt right there. His eyes widened in surprise for a moment, and Matt observed that he still appeared drawn and haggard, but at least looked better than he had before. The Andorian held the door open, staring at him but not venturing out, so Matt approached him.

Min stepped back to give him room and Matt entered, putting his hands in his pants pockets as he studied the clone anxiously.

Noticing that the rest of the bathroom was thankfully empty, Matt couldn’t help asking quietly, “Are you all right?”

Min closed his eyes and nodded, but the tension thrumming through his body gave the real answer. He looked so fragile then, more vulnerable than Matt had ever seen him before, his masks still gone.

Chest tightening with concern, Matt instinctively put his arms around him. The hiss of an indrawn breath was the only sound Min made, remaining stiff in Matt’s embrace.

Swallowing, Matt forced out gruffly, his lips brushing Min’s ear. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”

He felt Min tense, but the Andorian kept his arms at his sides. Matt couldn’t really blame him for still being upset, but it hadn’t been easy to say.

Neither was Min’s apology, his cloudy brain realized belatedly, and I didn’t accept that very gracefully either. It works both ways.

He needed to do something to fix this, like Min had tried earlier. The idea came to him and his loosened tongue acted on it instantly, before he could rethink it.

Choking on the words as if they were mine-tar, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

After a long moment, Min let out a deep breath and relaxed, his head drifting forward to lean against Matt’s shoulder. The Kartan stroked his back soothingly, and the Andorian’s arms finally rose from his sides to clutch him tightly.

Matt had never hugged Min like this before, not to comfort him. He found that he liked it though – especially the press of the lean, warm and familiar body against his own, doing dangerous things to his control – and he was disappointed when Min’s arms loosened and the clone shifted backwards away from him. Still feeling guilty, Matt let him go without a struggle, but he missed the feel of the Andorian in his arms, among other things.

However, he had to fight back a grin when he saw Min scrutinizing him suspiciously, as if he were a bee that might suddenly go berserk and sting him.

Not able to restrain the dark smile anymore, Matt said dryly, “Oh don’t worry, I’m still angry with you, but it can wait, Min.”

“Alex,” the clone corrected, scowling at him and crossing his arms defensively.

“Min,” Matt insisted, deciding that if the Andorian could argue he must be feeling better.

The Kartan wondered again what had upset Min so much. The question sat in his mouth like ashes, heavy on his tongue. If Min couldn’t handle thinking about it though, he definitely wouldn’t talk about it. And after Min’s criticism earlier, he didn’t want to push; this one mistake notwithstanding, Alex had proven that he only became more stubborn when pushed, not less.

They stood there in awkward silence, Min regarding him with the wary irritation of a man roused from sleep in the middle of the night. Yes, the clone was still pissed that he’d demanded uncomfortable answers about his past, and suddenly Matt felt too inebriated to deal with it any longer.

“We should go,” Matt told him.

“Yeah,” Min murmured, nodding faintly. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out a roll of cash.

Matt’s eyebrows rose. Ah, so that was how the clone had planned to pay. He’d suspected as much, knowing the clone concealed his identity as carefully as one might hide a rare diamond.

Putting a hand on the Andorian’s arm to halt him, he revealed, “I already took care of it.”

“What?” Min said, blinking. Then he looked offended. “But I told you I would pay. I invited you.”

Matt hid his surprise at Min’s reaction, shrugging. “It’s fine. I thought you might want to get out of here quickly,” he told him, latching onto that excuse before his loose tongue got away from him again.

The clone stared at him suspiciously, and to his embarrassment, Matt felt his face flush again. Thankfully, the clone refrained from calling him on it with some sarcastic comment.

Instead, Min gave him a faint smile and then said gruffly, “Well, thank you for dinner.”

“You’re welcome.”

Matt turned to go, but it was Min who stopped him this time.

“Wait.”

Matt glanced back at him and the Andorian asked warily, “What about the last question?”

Frowning, Matt paused. In his distraction, he’d forgotten about the rest of the questions. His lips curved as an appealing idea came to him.

“I’ll save the last two questions for later. After all, I’ll have plenty of time to ask them.”

Min scowled. “You’ve only got one question left, Muldane.”

“Not by my reckoning,” Matt told him.

The Andorian met him stare for stare, and Matt braced himself for further arguments. Instead the clone switched strides, commenting, “I’m surprised you’re not asking what was wrong with me.”

Once he adjusted for the change in topic, Matt’s gaze softened, catching the fear beneath the words. It surprised him that Min would face it head on by deliberately bringing it up, especially when he clearly was afraid of him asking.

“Not tonight,” Matt told him, the words brushing the air as gently as a light breeze.

One Andorian eyebrow quirked up in curiosity and he replied dryly, “And here I thought everything about me was your business.”

Ah, there was that sarcasm. It hadn’t taken long to return.

“If you think so, I’m more than happy to go along with it,” Matt replied, smirking cheerfully.

A bark of laughter from the clone. “I think not.”

Matt snorted, expecting as much.

“Come on,” Muldane said lightly, grabbing Min’s hand to tug him out the door. “Let’s go home.”

Chapter 5A

Comments

[alina-kotik.livejournal.com]

I was happy to see the new installment, and glad that Matt reflects on his behaviour and on Min's vulnerability. Matt has definitely moved forward, even though he still does not find slavery objectionable as an institution. The final hug was sweet and gave me hope for the boys.

[spiceblueeyes.livejournal.com]

Good to see Matt thinking about things. Can't wait to see what happens next!

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Matt's slowly making progress! And he actually apologized to Min. Even though he had to have his inhibitions lowered to do it, it's still a good thing. ;) Glad you liked the hug. :) Thanks for commenting!

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

If Matt would learn to think about Minute as a human being with all the rights of a fre born Katan that would be a very big progress but I guess I'm dreaming about it right now. But I do hope of that. Well, dreams are allowed aren't they?
Thanks a lot for the sharing of Matt's thoughts. Great chapter!

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

LOL, dreaming indeed. And yes dreams are allowed! I dream of the same thing - hopefully one day he'll get there. Sigh. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for commenting. :)

[twicet.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed reading Matt's thoughts and realisations that all might not be as he had previously believed.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, definitely not all as he believed before. And I think it's interesting/fun that he's telling himself 'things are this way, Min is this' but yet he's not treating him that way. He's responding differently, even as he's trying to cling to old beliefs. ;)

Thanks for reading and for commenting. :)

[nola-nola.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the update.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! ;)

[spike7451.livejournal.com]

Wonderful update. Wow! Matt actually did some thinking, wonders will never cease.
Can't get past the word clone can he? *Slaps* Matt. :)

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

LOL, I was just thinking that in response to a comment - Matt was actually using his BRAIN, gasp! Yep, he did do some thinking... although yes he's trying to cling to those old beliefs pretty hard, like using the word clone... but hey, notice he rarely if ever uses 'slave' these days? That's called progress, kids. XD

He is still very slap-worthy, yes. Thanks for reading and commenting, as always! :D

Spliced

[dramagirl007.livejournal.com]

I loved this chapter. I like how Matt gave him a bit of space and didn't go running in the bathroom after Min/Alex right away. I'm glad that Matt felt guilty about asking that personal of a question since it was making Min so uncomfortable. I still like it how Matt keeps calling him Min and he always corrects him and says Alex. This will be interesting because they're going home. Keep up the good work and please update ASAP. :)

Re: Spliced

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Matt's learning, little by little; he didnt go chasing after him right away, and he did feel guilty about what he did. Progress! And yes they are doing a dance back and forth with the name thing and with other things as well. ;)

Hopefully an update soon, but I haven't even started writing the next chapter yet, so you'll have to be patient with me! XD I know, I know, not your preferred way of being hehe. But thanks for commenting and I'm happy you liked it. :)

[lab-jazz.livejournal.com]

I love it! Somehow I missed the previous chapter so I got two for the price of one:)

Can't wait to see how Matt deals with his problem slave once he's back on his own turf.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Haha, that must've been a nice surprise. ;)

Yes, I think he'll have his hands full with Alex, in more ways than one. Ahem. >:D

Thanks for commenting. :)

[ilovetobefree.livejournal.com]

I've started reading this story a few weeks ago. I liked the first chapter, but I felt a little disappointed reading others chapters of part 1. It was because i have read your comment on 'The Slave Breakers" series (this comment was the reason I started to read your story) and I've been like: OK, and here we go, again. So much for the "punishment thing" and "making sure that the wrongness of slavery is still clearly there". Spliced is just only another of common slavery fics. But I liked Min, so I didn't stop reading. And I was very pleasantly surprised. Actually - I was a little confused at the beginning of part 2. But after I got Alex and Min were one person and reading about his history I started to see this story totally differently. And part 3 and 4 just made me to understand what did you mean by your comment "the wrongness of slavery".
I have to say this story is absolutely amazing and new (I would say - original)! The basic idea of Min and Alex - two persons in one body with such different way of behavior and personality that was something so special and I totally love that. Though, I have a feeling Alex and Min should merge into one person in the future (even I don't know what kind of personality would be dominant - I would prefer Alex, but it's just me :)). I love watching the change of Matt's mind and his thoughts and opinion about slavery. And I'm eager to read every new chapter to find out the way of development of this story.
Thank you very much for all those wonderful chapters of this marvelous story you've already posted.
I'm looking forward to the next update.
I apologize for my English. It's no my first language. So I'm sorry for my wrong terms and misspelling.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I know this is going to be long, but I really enjoyed your comment and want to reply well. ;)

Yeah, it having been so long since I wrote Part 1, there are things I would definitely like to go back and change. However, I wrote it with the intent of appearing like a typical slave story (except for a few random hints about Min being different), and then morphing into something else. I wanted to surprise the reader with some twists. I think I've succeeded in that at least!

I'm a little embarrassed/flattered that my long rambling comments on mac's LJ were read and possibly influenced other people into wondering about my story, but I am glad you stuck with Spliced. :) I will say that I think from Min's POV in Part 1 he still makes his opinion on slavery being wrong clear, even as he is drawn to Matt in certain ways. There's a conflict there, which I am still dealing with over 100K words later. XD

As for Part 2 - you are not alone in being confused, it seems quite common, though I tried to make it as clear as possible that Part 2 was 6 years earlier. I tried! But I'm glad that parts 3 and 4 cleared up what I was saying in my comments for you.

I definitely wanted to show that institutionalized slavery, as fun as it may be for us to read about in fic like this, should still be recognized as wrong, and that Matt's treatment of Min in part 1 was wrong. Alex doesn't just forgive him for that. (In fact, if it weren't for Hayeston, he probably would not have gone back to Matt, because he has too much self-respect. Attraction alone isn't a license for abuse.)

Anyway, I wanted to write a story with two main characters facing huge internal conflicts that are both nature vs nurture based. Alex/Min fights both his genetic background and how he was raised vs what he wants/deserves out of life, while Matt is gradually learning that the whole way he was taught to look at the world (particularly clones/slaves) is totally wrong--and that slavery is wrong. And it's a long struggle for both of them to figure out what they truly want and where they want to be. It's not an easy road (which is why this has gotten so long, grumble) but I didn't want to take any shortcuts in their psychological development. Matt doesn't just wake up one day and realize slavery is wrong--its little steps over time, and Alex/Min and Hollis are gradually prodding him along.

As for Alex/Min merging--he is trying now, which is more than he ever did before. As Ten mentioned at the end of Part 3, Alex is who he has become (and hence is the dominant personality ;) ), but there are things about himself from the Min side that he still needs to learn to accept too.

Once again, I'm glad you kept going and got to the more interesting parts. Maybe one day I'll rework Part 1 some. ;) Part 1 is like the 'feeding kinks' part lol (and an introduction of the mains I suppose), while all the stuff after that is more about the storyline.

And thank you! *blushes* I'm glad you find it original. I mainly just wrote what I wanted to read myself, since as much as I love slavefic I do get tired of the really submissive, weak/sweet little slaves that are too broken to think/live for themselves or to ever be bratty/mouth off a little. I like them too in their way - I do have Nuit in my story, who kinda represents that type - but they seem to be the real common type of slave in slavefic, and I wanted to do something totally different (insane) in this story: have a slave that besides having personality 'issues' etc, would also stand up for himself and say no, this is wrong. I think it also shows that I like powerfic as well, because this story has totally become a powerfic too.

And no worries! Your English is excellent; I wouldn't have known it wasn't your first language if you hadn't mentioned it. ;) Thanks for the long lovely comments, I enjoyed them greatly, and I'm happy to have you aboard! :D

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fran_/]

I've been thinking about if I should make a comment or not, because of the simple fact that when I am very deep into a writing process I am a very bad reader. Mostly I just don't read at all then. But now and then I just can't keep myself away from some stories, and so I skim them for the yummiest parts *blush* but still can't seem to be able to concentrate fully on them the way they deserve, and so in consequense doesn't feel that I can really say that much.

Be that as it may, I haven't been able keep myself from reading parts of 'Spliced' and I will definitely go back to it in the future when I finally will get my current writing project out of my system, and read it properly the way it obviously deserves.

I really like Min/Alex, and true to my preferences I must confess I might like Min a little bit more than Alex :-) but I sure keep rooting for Alex and his struggle with things both outside and within him. I agree with the commenter above, the spliced personality idea is very cool, and I like the plot very much on the whole. Plots is not my strong point I think, so I always admire complex and well written plots and together with interesting an engaging characters and some nice naughty ;-) it sure makes for a very enjoyable read.

Well, just wanted to say that, even though I admit I have not yet read all chapters fully.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Hey there :)

I understand exactly what you mean about it being hard to read other things while deep in the writing process. I have the same issue, and vice versa--I can't write when I'm doing a lot of reading either. It's like I only have so much literary focus, and I can't split it well. I find it frustrating, but that's how the Muse works. :/

And no, it's fine, I'm glad you commented! I'm happy that you like what you've read of it so far. I'm not sure I can qualify my story as plot-heavy, since I think most of Spliced is about characterization (which makes it clearly a romance novel to me, being about relationships) but I'm working on that! Although I guess if plot-heavy means not having a lot of sex in it, I guess it fits with that too so far. Lol. Which I really didn't intend it to have so few sex scenes when I started it, but what can I say? XD I will be adding to the sex tally shortly! Anyways, Part 4 definitely has more plot to it; it has to, being the last Part.

Lol, knowing your work I am not surprised that you like Min more than Alex, but more on that discussion when I reply to your next interesting comment. Going to grab some lunch first though.

Thank you for the compliments, they are extra special coming from you, since your stories will always have a special place in my heart, as they were among the first slavefics I ever read. ;) And I'll keep looking fwd to more of the Red Braid! :D

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fran_/]

As I am on a roll here anyway... :-) I find the discussion above about the totally broken slave who don't think for himself contra the bratty, mouthing off type :-) very interesting, since I guess I have written a whole lot of quite submissive and obeident slaves that don't question anything, and only one, really, that really mouths off :-) (and even he doesn't really question his actual slavery, only how they treat him). Though I wouldn't say I write slaves that are like empty-minded robots even if they are submissive and doesn't fight.

I write them like that because that's my preference I guess :-) But I want it to be realistic too that they are that way. It is possible, after all, to break a person rather profoundly, and that is the goal of most slave systems. If they didn't succced with most of the slaves the system would fall apart. (Though if this is something people want to write or read about is of course a matter of taste. Many would want to rather read and write about the slaves that are the exception to this, which I understand.)

I get annoyed with stories too where slaves are just completely non-thinking for no reason (no reason that is shown in the story anyway). But many times I think it might actually be more realistic that they are a bit more like Nuit than Alex. After all the slave owning world's premise that are most often set up, are most of the time constructed to keep slaves down, and the slave has to fight not only against a single master, but a whole culture, a whole history, a whole world, and most everybody in it. (I have much empathy for the slave character who does have his own mind, but accepts reality, that some things can't be fought, and so he won't. I guess I am a bit of a pessimist that way, and I don't always write happy endings.)

If I create such a world (and I often do) It's the Alexes I have to explain more than the Nuits I suppose. Which is, I think, what you are doing very well the way you have constructed this plot. You have made Alex's rebellion realistic witin the context you set up. I must confess I had the same reaction that the commenter above had, but for a completely opposite reason :-) I thought, oh no, not another mainstream hero rebel... But Alex isn't that at all.

The problem I have with many rebellious slave characters (and most male heroes in mainstream literature) is that they are shown as strong and overcoming all obstacles much too easily, and strength (mental or physical) is the ideal, and weakness is either dispised or thought of as embarrassing at best. The rebel slave is often as much an annoying cliché as the weepy broken one that way.

I like both character types if it is made realistic why they are the way they are.

Well, I think you did this very well with Alex. And I know my personal preference for very submissive men sometimes probably make me fail a bit in my own writing when it comes to this *blush*. But it is always my ambition in any case to make it realistic why they are like they are (however they are). Even if I don't always succeed I am aware of the problem.

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

After I saw your first comment I thought about what I'd said about the submissive slaves in the post above, and what you might think about it, and felt the urge to clarify it. Then I saw this comment and was like oh good now we get to discuss this!

Having read your stories on your site, yes I know the type of slave you like to write, and they are usually that submissive type, except for in Red Braid. And obviously I can't dislike that, since I DID read your stories. If I didn't like them how could I have finished them? ;)

Let's take Seka in Saved for example. I loved Seka and felt so bad for him, I wanted him to get out so bad. And near the end where Medora frees him and he's just so lost and doesn't know what to do and asks if he can stay, I wanted to shake him. Like, get away from that bastard while you can!! I understood that he had broken him so bad that Seka had nothing left, but I wanted the full reality of it to hit him and him realize, I can go, and maybe find something better now. And he does get out, sort of. Sigh. But yeah, I would never say he was non-thinking, he just endured so much suffering. And Medora was destructively obsessed with him, there wasn't ever going to be an redemption for Medora.

But when I was coming up with ideas for Spliced, I wanted to write a master character that (hopefully) would eventually be redeemed. However, how do you do that? You need a pretty unique slave to change his mind like that. Strong willed and stubborn enough to force him to see the truth. But I also wanted the slave to be highly conflicted himself, caught between his intellect and his desires, as well as his background.

I agree with what you said, realism is very important. Most slaves in a slavery system are very broken, because they have been put down all their lives by all the factors you mentioned. It is hard to fight against so much power arrayed against you. So yes, it's definitely more probable that any slave you encounter in a slavery system like Spliced's system is going to be much more like Nuit than Min.

That's why I've had to devote so much time to making Min/Alex plausible. He has to have a much different background, influences that would cause him to be capable of struggling against the lessons slavery has been teaching him all his life, and being able to take care of himself, instead of wandering about as a lost lamb as soon as he got free.

The problem I have with many rebellious slave characters (and most male heroes in mainstream literature) is that they are shown as strong and overcoming all obstacles much too easily, and strength (mental or physical) is the ideal, and weakness is either dispised or thought of as embarrassing at best. The rebel slave is often as much an annoying cliché as the weepy broken one that way.

Oh I agree. The character who gets kidnapped and tortured in one episode that completely recovers in the next episode, as if it never happened, bugs me. No, I was trying to show that as much as you try to push away the past or move on from it, some things will always affect you. Alex tried to shove all the bad stuff onto Min, so he could live a free, happy life without being haunted by his childhood. He didn't entirely succeed of course, but he fooled himself pretty well. After all, if it no longer affected him, why would he go back to slavery at all? ;)

I have much empathy for the slave character who does have his own mind, but accepts reality, that some things can't be fought, and so he won't.

So do I, very much. I believe that's how Min appears in Part 1; he can think for himself, but accepts that he won't get more from Matt, even as he longs for it. Tuawahine (posted on orig_slavefic) has written a slave like that too in her story. He's intelligent and capable, but has accepted that he has to comply with the system, he can't fight it.

Anyways, I like both character types (submissives and rebels) as well as long as they're realistic. I enjoy writing the Hollis/Nuit side stories because they let me get into the heads of very different characters - a much more well-adjusted master and a much more submissive slave.

And no, I don't think you've failed at all. We just write what we like most, and try our best to make characters realistic. :)

[dark-amphibian.livejournal.com]

Ack! I was *horrified* to finish this chapter and see the post date - and then see your note that you haven't started the next chapter yet! Uh, yeah, I am greedy and ungrateful.

That said, what a wonderful fic! You've so neatly captured a whole herd of psychological realities and are working them beautifully. Everything from Alex/Min's little PTSD experience to his dissociation, and Matt's denial...it just makes sense. And I love that with Alex's siblings, you're showing different ways of coping.

As evidence of what a fine job you're doing, I want to smack Matt too - even as I'm impressed with him for cluing in gradually. Even his learning process is realistic: gradual, and anything but smooth.

So, thanks for all your efforts, and I'm really looking forward to seeing more :-)

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Lol, horrified. Well, I DID start 4.5 on Wednesday; I got 700 words done. So it's a start! Hopefully I get more time to work on it soon. Outlines and summaries help speed things up a lot. ;)

You've so neatly captured a whole herd of psychological realities and are working them beautifully.

You have no idea how much it pleases me to hear that. Why? Because I've never taken a single psychology class, and I didn't even do that much psychological research for this story. But apparently I still got stuff right, so yay! Yep, PTSD, dissociation, denial, check! My characters have so much mental baggage lol.

And I love that with Alex's siblings, you're showing different ways of coping.

Glad you liked that. There's no way they could've gone through all that and not been affected, and different people deal with these things in different ways. We all have our coping mechanisms. In fact, I'm itching to write more about Ten, because I find his denial and seclusion so tempting to shake up. ;)

As evidence of what a fine job you're doing, I want to smack Matt too - even as I'm impressed with him for cluing in gradually. Even his learning process is realistic: gradual, and anything but smooth.

Oh, Matt. *pats him on the head and feeds him a cookie* He'll get there, someday. I'm gratified to hear that though - a realistic, gradual learning process was exactly what I was going for. Glad I've managed to express that successfully, especially the realism part. :D

Thanks for all the lovely comments! I shall endeavor to continue on soon! :)

[tuawahine.livejournal.com]

Awww! Who would have thought Matt could be that sweet and caring?
Though I have my doubts about it lasting too long. lol

[flighty-dreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, apparently there's a human being somewhere deep inside him. :P

Though I have my doubts about it lasting too long. lol

LOL, so do I. Severe doubts, more like certainties. :P