Spliced: Part 3 - Chapter 13B (End of Part 3)

[flighty_dreams]

TITLE: Spliced - Part 3, Chapter 13B
AUTHOR: flighty_dreams 
WARNINGS: NC-17. slavefic. scifi setting. M/m.
WORD COUNT:  2,732 (13B), 6,682 (all of Chap13)
SUMMARY:  Part 3, Chapter 13 - Goodbyes and arrivals.
NOTES:  The index to this story available here. Thanks to tuawahine for beta reading! This is the last chapter of Part 3, and Part 4 will be the last 'Part' of Spliced. It won't be for a while though, not til after NaNoWriMo ends...
FEEDBACK:  Always welcome, it makes me update faster. ;-)

 

 

*                                              *                                              *

 

Perplexed, Alex stared at the familiar mountains in front of him.

How had he ended up here? This couldn't be real, he decided, remembering that last he knew he was on Monlea. And this was definitely the land behind Ten's house on Festun, not Monlea. It was as gorgeous as he remembered, the sun shining brightly, the dramatic mountains rising up against the blue sky and a field of flowers stretching out in front of him. A beautiful spring day in the most vibrant and striking place he knew.

He turned around, looking for Ten's house. The building wasn't there, but Arri was. Upon seeing her he realized, this definitely can't be real. He was obviously dreaming, but he hadn't seen her in so long that he didn't care. As far as he was concerned, this was the best dream he'd ever had.

She was wearing a red sundress, flapping against her legs in the wind. Her auburn hair was blowing about, swirling against the pale skin of her face and neck. Her arctic blue eyes were shining, and he realized he'd never seen her before without a Kristech collar on, or in a dress like this one. This new look suited her very much, and he couldn't stop looking at her. He glanced at her bare neck and then drew his gaze down the length of her body before going back to her face.

“Arri?” he asked anxiously, stretching one hand out towards her but only closing half the distance between them. He was afraid if he touched her she'd disappear. This was a dream after all, and she wasn't really here.

Her hand rose to clasp his, and they moved nearer and embraced each other.

“No pure white dress for you?” he asked her, his fingers stroking the red cloth at her shoulder.

She laughed, and it was her rich, exuberant laugh, the one he'd never thought to hear again. Well, he supposed he wasn't really hearing it, but that didn't matter.

“No, I never was an angel, and I never will be,” she murmured, her voice as smoky and wicked as he remembered.

She chuckled again, and he recalled how she'd always had trouble hiding her emotions. They'd often come brimming through, whether they were anger or hate or laughter. That openness was what had gotten her killed in the end. He hugged her tighter, wishing with all his heart that he could bring her back.

“No, don't get upset,” she whispered into his ear. “I'm so proud of you and how far you've come.”

He shook his head, burying it against her shoulder. “I failed you and I failed them,” he said, referring to the others that hadn't made it.

Her hand stroked his hair comfortingly. “No, you did your best. You got as many of them out as you could, you escaped and you lived freely. Those are all wonderful things you accomplished, and I know you did them for me.”

She pulled back and then cupped his face with her hands, looking up at him. “You don't have to try so hard to make me proud. You already have. And you don't need to ride yourself so hard, be so strong. Don't hide the Andorian side away, it's a part of all of us.”

Shaking his head, he said, “But Arri-”

A finger to his lips cut him off. “Trust me, I understand. We are made up of both natures, and of course you would have those instincts. It's not a betrayal of me to give into them. You can yield to them and still live your own life.”

“Arri,” he said more forcefully. A bitter laugh escaping him he continued, “This isn't you talking. You're not really here, so this is just me telling myself what I want to hear.”

“That doesn't mean it isn't true,” she replied, giving him the same wise and knowing look she'd sent him the day she told him they had to escape Kristech.

He flushed, floundering for a response. “But I'm so messed up. I split myself in two and kept going back to slavery. How can you even be proud of me? You would have run and never looked back.”

She smiled then, sweet and supportive. “Yes, you split yourself apart. You pushed the Andorian parts away. Don't you think it's time you healed the breach?”

“But you could've done it. You could've lived freely and rejected the Andorian instincts,” he protested.

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. “You have to stop worrying about what I would've done. I wanted you to be free yes, but I also wanted you to be happy. If you feel the need to do this, if it's what you want, it's not wrong. Don't be ashamed of it, worrying about my good opinion. You've already succeeded beyond my wildest dreams by building a life for yourself.”

His hands lifted to cover hers, which were still cupping his face. “But Matt wants to own me,” he told her sadly. “He doesn't want me to have a life of my own.”

“Then show him that there's a difference between belonging to someone and owning someone. You can belong to someone and still be your own person. Kate taught you that, didn't she?”

Smiling wistfully, he agreed, “Yes, she did.”

“Life is too short for missed chances. Give the Kartan a chance to change.” She stroked his cheek, and he leaned into the caress. “And give yourself a chance to change too. The Andorian is part of you. Ignoring him doesn't work, you found that out with Kate. He is not something to be ashamed of.”

His throat tightened as he gazed into her earnest, beloved face. “I don't know how to let him back in,” he told her, his voice rough.

She sighed and then smiled crookedly, her hands moving into his hair. Leaning in, she pressed her head against his and he felt the huff of her breath rustle the air.

“You must be brave, and open yourself up and embrace him.”

Her head tilted up, her lips finding his, and he kissed her fiercely, letting her know with every fiber of his being just how much he missed her. He let it all go in a rush of feeling, bringing his walls down, holding her tightly as their mouths spoke silently of love and regret and longing. He surrendered his guilt, accepting her earlier words as true, that she was proud of him. He'd made her death matter, and honored her memory. What more was there he could do?

She pulled away and looked up at him, ageless wisdom in her eyes. “Live for both of us. With everything in you.”

 

 

*                                              *                                              *

 

He woke with a start, Arri and the field disappearing abruptly.

For a long moment, he wanted to hit something, the loss of the dream painful. But as he lay there staring up at the ceiling, he realized he felt different. Like a door had been opened. What she'd said hadn't been much different from what Ten had been telling him. But she'd let him off the hook, and he could let go now. He could feel the shift inside himself, like he always had when he made the other choice in his old recurring dream.

But now there was an openness to him, an acceptance of other possibilities he hadn't had before. Arri was the key. Everything he'd done since his escape, he'd done for her. Even going back to slavery, as much as he'd known she'd hate it, he’d done to atone for his mistakes. Of course it satisfied the Andorian needs too, but he'd been ashamed of that weakness. Now the dream had taken that shame away.

Arri had given him one final gift: understanding. He knew rationally that the dream came from his subconscious, but it didn't matter. Now he could accept all of himself. The turmoil inside had calmed, at least partially. It would still take time to reach a new equilibrium.

Kate and Arri had given him so much. Without them he would not be the person he was, could never have gotten past the abuses of his childhood and slavery. Kate had taught him that despite all the terrible things he'd done for Kristech, leaving some of his family behind, and the theft he'd committed to financially protect them all, he was still deserving of love. Of real love, love that embraced and strengthened him and didn't push him down. And Arri had given him the ability to look beyond Kristech, to hope for and seek a better life, and to fight for it.

Alex smiled sadly, acknowledging that he'd loved them both, and that he'd miss them. Part of him always would love them, but it was time to give Matt a chance now.

However, it would be on his own terms. He needed to figure out what those terms would be though, and how ready he actually was.

Ten looked at him strangely as they got ready that morning. “You seem… different.”

Alex gave him a blank look. If he described the dream out loud, he knew it would sound silly, and he didn't want it to lose any of its power.

His brother's eyes narrowed, and he said warningly, “Alex, tell me what's going on.”

Before he might've bristled automatically at the demand, but it didn't bother him much now. The knee jerk reaction was still there, but he could choose whether to give into it or ignore it. Sighing, he turned away and looked out the window. “I had a dream about Arri.”

“Arri?” Ten repeated from behind him, surprise clear in his voice.

He decided not to go into too much detail. “Yeah, and she said things to me. Things like what you've been telling me. She made me feel better, Ten, that's all.”

“Really? That's great.”

Alex sensed from Ten's tone that he was doubtful, but willing to let it go if it helped with the situation. Deciding he should clarify, Alex explained, “Of course I know it wasn't really her. But it was still good to see her. She made me feel... not ashamed.”

Ten padded across the carpeted floor and put a hand on his shoulder. Alex shifted to face him, and they stared at each other for a long moment.

“You do look better,” Ten said, studying him. “More at peace.”

Laughing, Alex shook his head. “I wouldn't go that far. I still have things to work out. But it's progress.”

It was true. He wouldn't say he was ready to meet Matt now, but he was closer to that point. He'd accepted now that he had to stop rejecting the Andorian instincts. They were a part of him, as much as his fondness for teasing his brother, his pride and his need to help other people. Willingness to yield didn't mean you were too weak to fight. He’d known that already, but his heart hadn’t truly accepted it until now.

“Still as broody as ever,” Ten grumbled then, sighing at him.

Alex glared back at his brother and said defensively, “I think this is one problem where brooding actually helps.”

That startled a laugh out of Ten. “You're right.” He paused and then added teasingly, “And it figures you'd take Arri's words to heart more than mine.”

Alex stuck his tongue out at his brother. “Sorry, she was always hotter than you.”

Mouth curving in a fond smile, Ten agreed, “Oh yes, she was.” There was a pause and then Ten asked, “Ready to go?”

They had a few errands left, and they did those as Alex pondered the situation again. He wanted things to be different with Matt this time, but they were still setting the trap for Hayeston, so even when he returned as Alex, not Min, he would still have to serve in some fashion.

It wouldn't be easy, and he still wasn't sure how he was going to pull it off exactly. Especially considering that Muldane would want to punish him for leaving, and for what he'd done on Festun. Could he really surrender himself up to punishment? Could he let the Andorian in enough for that? Alex wasn’t sure how much he’d actually stand for, even with the bit of peace the dream had given him. It had drawn him onto the path, but he still had a long road to travel.

He shivered and glanced around, searching the busy shopping street around them for slaves. There was one, placidly following his mistress and carrying her purchases. And another, body language dejected and his head facing the ground, being scolded by his master. A third one, kneeling next to his master's chair at an outdoor cafe. Could he do those things too?

His instinctive answer to all of them was no. He changed the image, picturing Matt's bedroom: Matt sitting on the side of the bed, and him kneeling before the man naked, ready to pleasure him with his mouth. Now that didn't entirely meet with a no. He tried a different scenario: tied to the bed facedown, his legs spread and his cock aching, Matt behind him about to fuck him. Or even spread across Matt's lap, a paddle burning his ass with each hit, whimpering and begging for it to stop, for his master to fuck him. The last one in particular irritated him, because he didn’t want to give Muldane that satisfaction, but he couldn’t deny that part of him found all of those scenes arousing.

Face flushing, he pushed those images away. Maybe the who was the most important factor, not the what. There were embarrassing aspects of being a slave that even Min had never liked. Being treated like a dog, forbidden to use the furniture, was just one example. Or the inability to choose your lovers, your master free to pass you around like a party favor if he so chose. But there was still pleasure to be had in the privacy of the bedroom with someone like Matt and his tastes, even if the rules he had to follow in public embarrassed or frustrated him. How to get only the aspects he liked and drop all the rest was a puzzle he had yet to figure out.

Of course there was also the complicated fact that he could reverse the positions on any of the bedroom scenarios he'd just come up with, and he'd still find them arousing. He wasn't sure if Matt would, but wouldn't it be interesting to find out? That thought was the most exciting one of all.

Like Ten had said, things were different now. He was returning to Matt by choice, not because Matt had bought him. While he would do his part, he still had no intention of just falling into line and letting Matt decide everything now. But the trick would be proving that to Matt, and getting the Kartan to accept it. Alex had to show Matt that he would not be forced into anything he didn’t want to do.

An idea forming, he scanned the crowded streets of Alister as they wandered through them. Finding what he needed, he turned to his brother, who'd been walking beside him. “Ten,” he said, grasping his friend by the arm, “we have an extra stop to make.”

Curious, Ten followed along. “What’re you doing?” he asked, as they headed towards the barbershop.

“I'm showing Matt that things aren't going to be the same this time,” Alex told him, a grin playing at his mouth.

Amusement sparking in his brother's eyes, he asked, “How short are you planning to cut it?”

Still smirking, Alex reached up and grasped the base of his ponytail at the nape of his neck.

Ten chuckled, knowing about Muldane's obsession with Min's hair. “He's going to spiral over this.”

“I know,” Alex replied as they strode through the door, his grin widening.

Matt would be pissed, but there’d be nothing he could do about it. Alex thought it was an appropriate way to start things off, and he looked forward to the Kartan’s counterattack. Whatever the future held—with Matt, with Hayeston and everything else—he knew one thing for sure.

It would be one hell of a ride.

 

~ END PART THREE ~

Part 4, Chapter 1